Wikipedia:Peer review/R. V. C. Bodley/archive1
R. V. C. Bodley[edit]
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because i'd like to nominate it for FAC one day. Any feedback would be nice, and i'd be happy to review your peer review in exchange. Just let me know if you have an article you'd like me to review when you leave comments here.
Thanks, Freikorp (talk) 12:00, 28 February 2015 (UTC)
- Closing review as i've had two good responses, and there are plenty of other articles waiting for a review. Freikorp (talk) 13:02, 14 March 2015 (UTC)
Comments from Tomandjerry211[edit]
Don't think you should send it FAC yet (you should send it through an A-class review on MilHist for some more feedback that might make the article fail on FAC).
- Not certain that the citation in the lead is necessary, since it should be cited in the body
- Shouldn't have both sfns and ref tags in the article
- instead of ...eldest of three children;..., I think ...oldest of three children;... is better.
- Instead of hyphens for some of your citations put solid dashes (you can find them on the toolbox on the bottom of the page).
- ...and was also appointed Offic
ier of the...
- Probably should include more on his early life in the lead.
- Good. -- Tomandjerry211 (talk) 11:17, 11 March 2015 (UTC)
- What did he die of?
- I don't know. As mentioned in the article there is limited information available on his later years. Both the sources I have that mention his death don't state the cause, though he was 78 and I do have a a source that he died in a nursing home, so it was certainly natural causes. Which natural cause, however, we'll probably never know. Freikorp (talk) 00:17, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
- Want some more images (if they are copyrighted upload the to Wikipedia under fair use).
- Should have info on when and where he died in the lead.
- then traveled through Asia in the lead
- All citations need page numbers (for example "Bodley 1968").
- Add some isbns or oclcs for your sources. They can be found on here.
More later. I also have a Peer review that might be of interest.-- Tomandjerry211 (talk) 19:37, 7 March 2015 (UTC)
- I'll take a look at that peer review either later today or in a couple days time (won't have internet access tomorrow or most of the day after). Freikorp (talk) 00:55, 8 March 2015 (UTC)
- @Tomandjerry211: Have a look at my replies. I'll start reviewing your PR today. Freikorp (talk) 01:16, 11 March 2015 (UTC)
Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk)
- "Bodley was appointed assistant military attaché to Paris on 15 August 1918. ... As assistant military attaché Bodley attended": Bodley was appointed assistant military attaché to Paris on 15 August 1918, and attended
- As was discussed recently at WT:FAC, "stated" doesn't work well when it's used a lot; it can be considered the verb form of "statement", and not everyone is making a statement.
- Good writing; I didn't have much to do. These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 03:23, 10 March 2015 (UTC)