Wikipedia:Peer review/Kerry Ellis/archive1

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Kerry Ellis[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it hasn't had one in quite a while and much has been added since its last review. It also needs much critique to help its potential status as GA.

Thanks, Stephenjamesx (talk) 12:28, 22 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comment: There is a dab, "wrench". Also, six dead URLS in the citations. Finetooth (talk) 17:10, 28 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • Most of the time, we don't see refs in the lead because everything in the lead should be expanded upon in the main body of the article.
  • She's British so I'd expect to see this article in British English (e.g. recognized -> recognised).
  • Would link Suffolk in the lead, it's not a common place name for most of our readers.
  • " in 1998, she made" new para, so reiterate Ellis, instead of "she".
  • "After meeting rock musician" would prefer to see that as "Queen guitarist" since that's really what he is.
  • "Despite her misfortune " really? Or did she just not get through?
  • "Ellis has been expanding her " make this past tense.
  • "with rock musician Brian May" don't repeat May's first name and don't reintroduce him.
  • " second studio album with Brian May." again, no need for the Brian.
  • at the Wolsey Theatre where " qualify perhaps with "in nearby Ipswich".
  • If you really want to link pantomime, do it the first time round.
  • "Freshly graduated, " a bit tabloidy so perhaps "Following her graduation" or something more neutral in tone.
  • I think "first understudy" is worthy of a link.
  • Last two sentences of first para of Career beginnings... section are unreferenced.
  • When you abbreviate to WWRY it's in italics, when you re-use the abbreviation it isn't...
  • Several paras without a single ref probably could be improved.
  • (just a thank you: very pleased to see the tables have row and col scopes so screen readers get the best out of it!)
  • Work and Awards sections are both completely unreferenced.
  • Try to avoid SHOUTING in ref titles.
  • Not sure the BBC is a work, most likely a publisher.

The Rambling Man (talk) 16:02, 4 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

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