Wikipedia:Peer review/Halo Wars/archive2
Halo Wars[edit]
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because, you know, the 'ole shebang. DLC is forthcoming, so the section is gonna' be stubby for a while, but that's about it. Thanks, Der Wohltempierte Fuchs (talk) 23:44, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
- Random commentary as I see it. I already took a stab at rewording a few of these; feel free to tweak/revert as necessary.
- Lead: "The game is set in the Halo science fiction universe, 20 years before the video game Halo: Combat Evolved, which was released on 2001." don't mix your fictional years and your real-life years in the same sentence. Additionally, it's awkward to have Halo's release date mentioned before Halo Wars'.
- Lead: "The game was an attempt to bring together Halo first-person shooter fans to play a real-time strategy game and experienced strategy players to play a Halo game." Awkward construction, seems to be done solely to avoid repeating the developer's quote later on.
- Gameplay: "...units are trained and upgrades resourced." - You mean researched?
- Gameplay: "The UNSC build reactors..." took a stab at rewording this.
- Plot: Assorted ambiguities, especially in the realm of pronouns. Attempted to fix some of them up, others not so much because I don't know the plot: "Anders formulates a plan to destroy the planet by detonating the ship's faster-than-light reactor." - Which ship?
- Reception: "More neutrally, 1UP.com's would not say..." This sentence's is missing.
More generally, my only other comment is that the section on audio development feels a little long, comparatively. Otherwise it's a very well-researched and pretty well-written article. Nifboy (talk) 00:24, 17 April 2009 (UTC)