Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Japanese battleship Yamato/archive1
Jappalang's comments[edit]
Design and construction
- "... their firepower would offset American industrial power."
- Do you not mean "American numerical superiority", or "... their firepower would destroy more ships than United States can build."? To me, "industrial power" would apply to everything, even the production of socks...
- "... learn
oftheclass'characteristics of the class, ..."- "Class'" or "class's"? Perhaps the above suggestion could dodge this bullet?
Armament
- "Each gun was 21.13 metres (69.3 ft) long, weighed 147.3 tonnes (162.4 short tons), ..."
- The source is "Johnston and McAuley (2000), p. 123 – each of the three main turrets weighed more than an good-sized destroyer." Is the "147.3 tonnes" figure for each gun (i.e. barrel, firing mechanism, and other components) or for each turret? From the British World War II destroyers, German World War II destroyers, Italian World War II destroyers, and Japanese World War II destroyers articles, I gather that WWII destroyers displace thousands of tonnes. Is 147.3 a derived figure?
- No. It isn't. The guns combined weighed (my apologies for the shoddy math!) ~450 tonnes. However, when you factor in the fact that the turret was completely surrounded by over two feet (26 inches approximately) of concrete-molybdenum-reinforced armour plating, the weight of each individual turret was several thousand tonnes. I've added somewhat to the citation to clarify that. It's for each gun as an individual barrel. The destroyer displacement comes when you factor in the crapload of mechanisms and plating that were added onto the turret. This is described in slightly more detail in the main class article. Cam (Chat) 05:55, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
Battle of Leyte Gulf
- "... Takeo Kurita's Centre Force ..."
- British English: "Centre", American English: "Center"; I think the MOS allows corrections to adapt names to the regional language, does it?
- Fair enough. I'm not entirely sure what the issue is though...the article is in British English. Would you prefer "center" in this case? Cam (Chat) 05:55, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
Operation Ten-Go
- "Admiral Raymond Spruance ordered six old battleships, in the area to provide shore bombardment, to prepare for surface action."
- Eh, what (fragmented sentence)?
- "Yamato obtained her first radio contact with aircraft at 10:00;"
- Radio contact? I presume this is the pickup of radio chatter? So... the seaplanes never radioed back to the Allies about the Japanese positions? If it means radar, why are the seaplanes not the first radio contact then?
- "... approached from all points of the compass ..."
- Did they attack from eight or sixteen directions (N, S, E, W, etc) or is this just writing for a dramatic effect? If the latter, "points of the compass" could simply be replaced with "directions".
- "The fourth unconfirmed hit ..."
- Which were the earlier three unconfirmed hits?
Wreck discovery
- "In 1982, an expedition to the South China sea drawing <space> on US wartime records produced some promising results, but the wreckage discovered could not be positively identified."
- Note the possible ambiguous reading...
- I've changed it slightly. Cam (Chat) 05:55, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
- What I meant was that by casting my reading eye slightly off to the side (and dim the brain), I could see it as results were yielded from an expedition, recorded on US wartime records, to the drawing of the South China sea. I think enclosing the phrase in commas would have helped... Jappalang (talk) 07:53, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
- I've changed it slightly. Cam (Chat) 05:55, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
Cultural significance
- "Yamato, and especially the story of her sinking, have often appeared in Japanese media."
- The qualifier of "often" is sourced to just two database entries on IMdB (which does not talk about the frequency of appearances even)???
- "These appearances usually portray the ship's last mission as a brave, selfless, but futile, symbolic effort by the crew to defend their homeland."
- Did the two cited books (Yoshida and Minear, p. xvii; Evans and Peattie, p. 378) state this commentary?
- I'm not sure. Cla68 has those books, so I'll direct his attention over here. Cam (Chat) 05:55, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
- I'll have to check those books later today when I'm back in my home library. Cla68 (talk) 22:32, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
- Note that I removed "symbolic"; 4 adjectives seemed like overkill to me, but of course anyone is welcome to revert. - Dank (push to talk) 14:20, 1 April 2010 (UTC)
- I'll have to check those books later today when I'm back in my home library. Cla68 (talk) 22:32, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
- I'm not sure. Cla68 has those books, so I'll direct his attention over here. Cam (Chat) 05:55, 31 March 2010 (UTC)
- I am not terribly enamoured with the short contextless mentions of the two shows; what makes them culturally significant? Having much thought on this, I have added information per this edit. Please check it and copyedit it. Is there any comment on this? Jappalang (talk) 01:24, 2 April 2010 (UTC)
Bibliography
- "Evans and Peattie" is not listed.