Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Kenneth Dewar

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Kenneth Dewar[edit]

The article is GA, but failed its FAC. The request for copyedit has yielded no takers so I'd like another review via WP:MILHIST A-class. Cheers, Harlsbottom (talk) 13:50, 12 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: The dates in the refs need to have consistent date formatting per WP:MOSNUM. Currently you have some with partial links, some with both dates linked, some in different formats. Consistency is key here.
There is no need for the comma in the dates; the parser makes [[1 March]], [[1900]] show up as 1 March, 1900 anyway.
There are still prose issues: "Promoted Acting Sub-Lieutenant," just doesn't flow. I think the prose is A-Class, just not FA class yet. I would continue to try and find a good copy-editor (I know it is nigh-on impossible to do), preferably one without a naval background.
Why link only the "C" in C class cruiser?
"and harmonious relationship between the two was to be expected out of necessity." Seems very disjointed. I think it needs rephrasing.
So; fix the dates and the little issues and I will support it for A, though until you can find one of those elusive copy-editors, I wouldn't support it at FAC. All the best. Woody (talk) 18:54, 13 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.