Wikipedia:Peer review/Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games/archive1
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games[edit]
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
Hopefully all aspects of the game has been covered in the article. Looking for any suggestions on improvements to the article. Regards, « ₣M₣ » 19:09, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article, here are some suggestions to improve it:
- A model article is useful for ideas to follow on structure, style, refs, etc. There are all sorts of FAs at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Video_gaming that may be useful as models.
- Per WP:LEAD the lead should probably be longer and should be a summary of the whole article.
- I am not a video game person, but it seems as if a bit of background might help clarify this - why is it special that Mario and Sonic are together and why is this there first collaboration?
- Is there any reason not to list all 16 characters available in the game?
- Ditto on listing all of the games possible?
- I think the article needs to always be clear whether the Wii or DS version is being discussed, For example There is an unlockable version of four of the Olympic events in the game. These events are called "Dream Events". They differ from their original counterparts by applying more fictional video game attributes from the Mario and Sonic worlds. As a result, these events also have recognizable locations, abilities, objects, and support characters from both gaming worlds.[7][18] The Nintendo DS version has five exclusive Dream Events: canoeing, boxing, basketball, long jump and skeet shooting.[15]
- Article has some short sentences which makes it choppy when it should flow better. See above
- Provide context for the reader - for example who are the people mentioned in In 2005, Yuji Naka held discussions of a Mario and Sonic video game with Shigeru Miyamoto.[21]
- Article seems a bit short, but I do not know what to add. A model article will be useful here too.
- I would try to give specifics in the Reception section - for example in Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games on the Wii is known for being an entertaining multiplayer experience, having colorful graphics and physically demanding gameplay,[38][28] but criticized for shallow gameplay and having complex rules and instructions for numerous events.[10][35] I would say who said each of these things. Also refs should be in numerical order - so [28][38].
- In Reception, since this is a world-wide release, why are mostly just the UK sales figures given?
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 02:50, 18 May 2008 (UTC)