Wikipedia:Peer review/Louie B. Nunn/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Louie B. Nunn[edit]

Toolbox
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I brought this article up to GA standards about two years ago and haven't really touched it since. However, I was looking back over it the other day and thinking it might stand a chance at FAC, which would bring me one step closer to my goal of having a Governors of Kentucky featured topic. I'd like feedback on what improvements are needed before the article would pass an FA review. I know it could use more images, but unfortunately, images are tough to come by when the subject is so recent. Also, be aware that the Sigmund Byrd work "The Louie Nunn Story" was one I got on interlibrary loan, so I don't have access to it at the moment. Part of the reason for conducting this peer review is to find out which issues I may need that source to clarify. That way, when I get it on interlibrary loan again, I can make the most efficient use of the time I have access to it.

Thanks, Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:57, 5 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments enjoyed the read, just a few comments:

  • "Elected in 1967, he was the first Republican elected" elected...elected... is a little repetitive.
    • Reworded. Still probably isn't perfect, but hopefully it is better. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:28, 11 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • You have Dwight D. and Bert T. but not Simeon S. and Thruston Ballard... any reason?
  • "Following the bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, Nunn departed for Cincinnati, Ohio and began taking flying lessons, hoping to become a B-17 pilot." ...ing ...ing ...ing not particularly elegant prose.
  • " Cincinnati, Ohio " vs " Wichita Falls, Texas" first one you link the city and not the state, second one you link the whole lot. I would be consistent.
  • "he received a medical discharge on September 13, 1945.[13] He held the rank of corporal at the time of his discharge" consider merging these two.
    • To me, it sounds odd to say "he received a medical discharge with the rank of corporal on September 13, 1945". It's like his rank was some how connected to the injury or something. Maybe it's just me. If you think it sounds OK, I'll make that change. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:28, 11 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in Glasgow in " now then, I would add Kentucky here since there's a far more well known Glasgow than this one...!
  • "her first marriage.[20] Following Nunn's marriage" avoid the rapid repeat of marriage.
  • "an organization to elect Nunn.[23] Nunn defeated his " Use "He" instead of repeating Nunn.
  • "to 4,378.[23] He was" merge, "to 4,378, and became"
  • No need to relink Glasgow.
  • "who threw his support to " I normally throw my support behind someone rather than to them. Is this an Americanism?
    • I have heard it both ways here.
  • "(Unsigned bills become law after ten days under the Kentucky Constitution, in contrast to the pocket veto provision in the federal constitution.) - this seems a little odd tagged on here, maybe make it a footnote.
    • I guess I was expecting most of the readers to be from the U.S. and familiar with the pocket veto. To them, I would think this required some immediate explanation. If you think it's intrusive, I can demote it to a note. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:28, 11 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Not sure there's much need to actually wikilink President of the United States...
  • I also think "curfew" is a common word which doesn't need linking, but others may disagree.
  • "He served as a distinguished lecturer at Western Kentucky University and received the Distinguished Alumni Award from" don't think you need the first (potentially POV) "distinguished" since the second is confirmed by the award.
    • If I'm not mistaken, "distinguished lecturer" is the actual job title. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:28, 11 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "between Steve Nunn and his father" just "between him and his father"
  • None of the "ancestors" appear notable and the family tree is unreferenced (as far as I can see) so I'm not entirely sure of its utility.
    • This comes up a lot. It's something Spacini (talk · contribs) has been working on for the Kentucky Historical Society. I think he just sources it to public records. I've typically considered it harmless, especially since it is collapsed. Besides, some folks might be interested in working on the article because of some kind of genealogical connection to the subject. That was what got me working on Archibald Dixon, although I never found a familial connection between us. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:28, 11 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 10:58, 11 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review. These are helpful comments. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:28, 11 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments from Mark Arsten (talk)
  • "He earned a Bachelor of Arts degree at Bowling Green Business University." Do you know which year he graduated?
    • Unfortunately, no. That's on the list of things I always note when I can find it. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 19:39, 16 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      • Interesting, well, not a big deal.
  • "On June 17, 1953, Nunn declared as a Republican candidate for county judge.[22] He was unopposed in the Republican primary.[22]" Maybe try to combine these two? They're fairly short.
    • Done.
  • "Nunn also attacked Cook for his Catholic faith, a tactic that proved particularly effective with the state's rural and Protestant voters." Do you mean it proved effective with rural protestants, or rural people in general as well as Protestants in general? Also, you start consecutive sentences with "Nunn..." here.
    • After reexamining the source, it seems there were two different issues in play. The Catholic faith turned off the Protestant voters, while Cook's urban roots (he was from Louisville) worked against him with rural voters. Fixed. Also fixed the consecutive "Nunn" sentences.
      • I guess that does make sense.
  • This might be unactionable here, but "During the campaign, Nunn charged that Democrats wanted to raise taxes to pay for administrative inefficiencies." interested me. That's what we expect Republicans to generally say these days, was that the case back then too?
    • Probably. My knowledge of the general subject matter says he probably bolstered his charge beyond the normal national Republican talking points by pointing out that Democrats had held basically all of the executive offices in the state for two decades, and their near-monolithic hold on that branch of government had created more inefficiencies due to a lack of competition. The source doesn't necessarily support that this was the case here, but it was a common theme for Republicans in Kentucky, dating back to the days of William O'Connell Bradley before the turn of the 20th century. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 19:39, 16 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      • Interesting, well, I guess there's only so much that you can do here.
  • Made it about halfway through the article, it's looking pretty good thus far. Mark Arsten (talk) 00:39, 15 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Thanks for your comments so far. Looking forward to the rest of your review. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 19:39, 16 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ok, here's the rest:
  • You might want to link "law-and-order philosophies" to Law and order (politics).
    • Didn't know that article was out there. I almost tried to reword this to avoid "law and order", since I thought it might be too colloquial, but this helps a lot. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:45, 17 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In May 1970, Nunn again dispatched the Guard to quell protests against the Vietnam War at the University of Kentucky including the imposition of a curfew that interfered with final examinations." I'm a little confused by this sentence, who imposed the curfew?
    • Well, Nunn ordered it and the Guard enforced it. I've tried to clarify. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:45, 17 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Historian Thomas D. Clark called Nunn the strongest of Kentucky's eight Republican governors." Might want to note when he said this (if there have been more than eight by now).
    • There have only been eight, which means the statement would have to have been made between Fletcher's election in 2003 and Clark's death in 2005. Unfortunately, Clark is quoted by another author in the source, and no date is given, so it would be difficult to pinpoint an exact year. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:45, 17 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He continued backing Republican candidates, including his support of Ronald Reagan in 1975." The significance of this might be lost on people who are unaware of political history. It might be too much detail, but maybe note that Reagan was challenging the incumbent here.
  • In the second paragraph of "Later career" you start three consecutive sentences with "He..." I would avoid that by starting the middle one by noting the time "In the 1990s, (or whenever) he..."
  • A few short sentences over the last three paragraphs, maybe think about combining some.
  • There's a link inside a quote in the second to last paragraph, I think the MOS suggests against that (but it's an often flouted suggestion).
    • Wasn't aware of that, but given the importance of distinguishing between marijuana and hemp in this context, I think it best to leave it. Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:45, 17 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Alright, that was an easy article to read. As long as you're not leaving anything important out, I think you'll do Ok at FAC with this. Feel free to ping me when you do nominate it. Mark Arsten (talk) 00:40, 17 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Thanks for the review, and I will drop you a line when it goes to FAC. Many of my FACs fail for a lack of reviewers. Barring some generous last minute reviews, that seems to be the fate awaiting John Sherman Cooper. :( Acdixon (talk · contribs) 13:45, 17 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Peer_review/Louie_B._Nunn/archive1&oldid=490273077"