Wikipedia:Peer review/List of The Smashing Pumpkins band members/archive1

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List of The Smashing Pumpkins band members[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I've recently rewrote the entire lead, added the tables, and cited all of the sources. I eventually want to nominate this article for as featured list, and I want to get feedback to make sure it meets all of the criteria.

Thanks, WereWolf (talk) 04:53, 6 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Brianboulton comments: The lists look basically OK. Here are a few points requiring attention:-

  • Prose issues in lead
    • "Since its inception, The Smashing Pumpkins have..." You can't have "its" and "have" together. Either "their" and "have", or "its" and "has".
Done. WereWolf (talk) 19:08, 19 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • with the only consistent member being Billy Corgan" → "with Billy Corgan the only consistent member."
Done. WereWolf (talk) 19:08, 19 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • "The band played their final concert on December 2, 2000 at the Cabaret Metro." Needs rewording, as this obviously wasn't the band's "final" concert.
Done. WereWolf (talk) 19:08, 19 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • The band's website need only be described as "official" once.
Done. WereWolf (talk) 19:08, 19 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Members list
    • Current: the note introducing this list begins "As of 2010, the current lineup..." You don't need to say "current".
Done. WereWolf (talk) 19:08, 19 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • Former live members: this is a somewhat awkward heading. Why not change it to "Touring musicians"? With the accompanying note, that should be clear.
Done. WereWolf (talk) 19:08, 19 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Former additional supporting live musicians: again, an unnecessarily awkward heading. Call them "Temporary musicians", and use the note to say what they were.
Done. WereWolf (talk) 19:08, 19 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • General point: I notice some inconsistency in the formatting of retrieval dates in the references.
Done. WereWolf (talk) 19:08, 19 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I hope these comments are helpful. It will help us in turn if you can find time to review one or more articles from the peer review backlog - there is a shortage of reviewers, and your assistance would be much appreciated. Brianboulton (talk) 14:59, 18 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

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