Wikipedia:Peer review/Eagle Scout (Boy Scouts of America)/archive1

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Eagle Scout (Boy Scouts of America)[edit]

We've been working on this article and would like a peer review to improve it. After the peer review, we'd like to submit it for FAC and hope it eventually becomes a FA. Rlevse 11:50, 26 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view. For example,
    • Eagle Scout is considered to be a significant lifetime achievement.
    • is/are weasel words, and should be provided with proper citations.
      • I've taken a stab at this. Rlevse 19:11, 28 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • This article may be a bit list-weighty; in other words, some of the lists should be converted to prose (paragraph form).
  • Thanks, AndyZ t 21:26, 26 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • Sections 2 and 4 have been 'delisted'. See my thoughts on 5 and 6 below. --Gadget850 ( Ed) 13:57, 27 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead has grown (again) into a paragraph of its own, whereas it should merely define the subject and give a summary of the article. Citations are for the full statements in the article proper. May I recommend a copy-edit?
    • I've been mulling over how to do this. Do you have suggestions or would you like to take a stab at it? Rlevse 19:16, 28 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • The article is rather emphatic about the wonderful things that befall people who have achieved the Eagle Scout rank. Although this may well be considered a high achievement in a boy's life, I think the subsequent achievements in life cannot be attributed to the Eagle Scout rank but the qualities of the boy (grown to man) himself. May I recommend a rewording of several paragraphs, to make the article more straight forward?
    • Please look over again as this has been worked some. If you still have concerns, please be specific. Rlevse 19:16, 28 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm not sure, but would merging the section 3, 5 and 6 be worthwhile? It would make delisting section 5 and 6 easier. Wim van Dorst (Talk) 22:04, 26 May 2006 (UTC).[reply]
    • I've been thinking that the badge and medal history (5 and 6) really pulls the focus away from the subject proper. Perhaps this should be split to History of Eagle Scout insignia. Thoughts? --Gadget850 ( Ed) 13:57, 27 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
      • Personally, I think the (as suggested combined) history of the Eagle Scout insignia would be very valuable section in the Eagle Scout article. For me that is the subject of the article. Wim van Dorst (Talk) 21:45, 27 May 2006 (UTC).[reply]

Okay, guys, how about this: the intention in my copy-editing:

  1. History (why is it there)
  2. Requirements (what do you have to do to get it) + hist
  3. Insignia (what do you get) + hist
  4. Outside Boy Scouting (the difficult part for an encyclopedia, due to NPOV requirements)
  5. Remainder sections

I moved (copy-edited) the history of badge and medal to a subsection in the insignia paragraph. Then I copy-edited all requirements into the section. And I made a new lead text, just defining and summarizing, notably without Outside Boy Scouting text. Wim van Dorst (Talk) 20:52, 28 May 2006 (UTC).[reply]

I LIKE THE CURRENT STATE OF THE ARTICLE! An article can always be improved, but this is the best it's been yet. We work well together! I also know someone who said I can photo his Eagle medal collection. I'm don't think he has all 17, but he has lots of them. I'll work on that. Gadget850 and Rebelguys2, if you can scan your medals, that'd help. YIS, Rlevse 21:22, 28 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thanks for the support, Rlevse. And I don't think scanning my Dutch Crown Scout badge will help for this article, will it ;-) Wim van Dorst (Talk) 21:37, 28 May 2006 (UTC).[reply]
    • Nope, but you could add it to Scouting Nederland. PS, I lived in Holland when I was 11-12 years old. I was in a BSA troop at Camp New Amsterdam. There was a Dutch boy in the troop named Hans. I loved my time in Holland. Rlevse 21:52, 28 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
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