Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of Kings XI Punjab cricketers/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was promoted by Giants2008 17:11, 4 September 2012 [1].

List of Kings XI Punjab cricketers[edit]

List of Kings XI Punjab cricketers (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): Thine Antique Pen 14:01, 17 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured list because I have created it from scratch and would like it to become a featured list. Thine Antique Pen 14:01, 17 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from TheSpecialUser (talk) 01:02, 19 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
*Comment - Can you provide WP:ALT for images? TheSpecialUser TSU 01:02, 19 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Resolved comments from TBrandley (talk) 22:25, 19 August 2012‎ (UTC)[reply]
Comments
  • Unlink million as per WP:OVERLINK; common term
  • Categories should be sorted in alphabetical order

TBrandley 02:41, 20 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from NapHit (talk) 18:55, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Comments'
  • You provide an abbreviation for Kings XI Punjab, yet don't use it, either use it or scrap the abbreviation
  • "In November 2010, the team filed a petition of arbitration (appeal) to the Bombay High Court to challenge the decision.[3] The appeal was accepted on 16 December 2010." -> The team filed a petition of arbitration (appeal) to the Bombay High Court in November 2010, challenging the decision, which was accepted a month later"
  • Really don't like the majority of the sentences in the second para starting with "In..." vary it up, also the para is a load of short sentences bunched together, so it doesn't flow at all, needs copyediting
  • "...scoring 1603 runs" 1603 should be 1,603
  • Inn should be under the Batting header , not the general header as is currently the case
  • The alt text has not been done correctly, see WP:ALT, you're supposed to describe the picture to someone who can't see it, not just rehash the caption
  • ref 10, Indian Express should be in italics as its a printed publication
  • ref 16 is the only one with the publisher linked, remove it for consistency

NapHit (talk) 21:01, 22 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

  • "...because the teams had been signed by people who were not members of the consortium." This needs to be clarified, what consortium? what teams had been signed mean? Need to be clearer
Not done, all you've done now is make the sentence factually incorrect. After reading the source, the owners are the consortium, so you should open the second sentence with "The franchise is owned by a consortium, including..." to avoid confusion. BCCi are not a consortium as you've changed it to. Still not sure what you're referring to when you teams had been signed, makes no sense. NapHit (talk) 18:55, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
 Re-done. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:39, 25 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Really don't like the majority of the sentences in the second para starting with "In..." vary it up, also the para is a load of short sentences bunched together, so it doesn't flow at all, needs copyediting
  • Again third para needs a copy edit just reads like a list, with the sentences reading similarly, try and vary the structure up
Not done, still reads awfully lost of short sentences, with no flow, needs to be copyedited by a native english speaker. NapHit (talk) 18:55, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • ref 3 Times of India should be The Times of India
  • we have ESPNcricinfo and ESPN Cricinfo, should be ESPN Cricinfo throughout
Nope, ref 13 is ESPNcricinfo. NapHit (talk) 22:39, 25 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • ref 10 Indian Express should be The Indian Express
  • ref 13 Cricket Nirvana, not convinced this is a reliable site needs replacing

The prose is not representative of our best work, and needs a heavy copyedit from a native English speaker and uninvolved editor. Until this is corrected I'm afraid I will have to oppose. NapHit (talk) 18:55, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

As the GOCE request has not been responded to I've taken it upon myself to copyedit the prose. As a result I will refrain from supporting or opposing the nomination and have marked my comments as resolved. NapHit (talk) 15:44, 30 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Removed from page. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 17:36, 2 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]


Resolved comments from ♛♚★Vaibhav Jain★♚♛ Talk Email 16:33, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Comments
  • In the second para of the lead, you have provided season wise statistics and how much matches they won. I would rather like to know their rank in the league table.
  • Have you included NR is determining the win%? If yes/no, add a note which tells that.
  • Why is wicket capitalized in the last para of the lead?
  • If you are sorting by last name, why are Azhar Mahmood and Harmeet Singh up the list, an why is Yuvraj Singh down.
  • Seems OK to me. It sorts by last name. I believe it only sorts by first name when the surnames are the same. Looks good to me. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 16:07, 23 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • You have to add the captains symbol to every one who had captained the team, not only the current ones. Same with wicket-keeper.
  • "On 10 October 2010, the Board of Control ... accepted a month later." Too much details about a legal incident in a players list? 2 line are enough.


Some more comments

  • The images captions and the table headings should use KXIP instead of Kings XI Punjab.
  • You need a add a source for the wicket-keeper sign, similar to the captains sign.
  • You need to add some details about the tables in the lead. Currently the reader won't know how the list is initially sorted.
  • Jayawardene didn't captained KXIP in 2012.
  • Check again. :) It says 2010.
  • "Piyush Chawla has played 71 matches, the most played by any KXIP player." Can be shortened.
  • Could you tell me how it could be shortened, without a good level of readability? Thine Antique Pen (talk) 13:43, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Piyush Chawla has played 71 matches, the most by any KXIP player."
  • "With ten international cricketers in 2009" Really not of encyclopedic value. Almost each team has a no. of international players near to the allowed no. of 11.
  • Keeping for variation.
  • "seven losses and victories" Maybe you could add each.
  • The article is meant to be more specific to the players, meaning I am only including the numbers. Thine Antique Pen (talk) 13:43, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Gilly's cricinfo page doesn't says that he is the captain of KXIP.
  • Then replace ref 14.

♛♚★Vaibhav Jain★♚♛ Talk Email 12:58, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from Giants2008 (Talk) 20:02, 1 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Comments –
  • to acquire the franchise. The franchise...". Try to avoid the obvious repetition from one sentence to the next.
  • "Shaun Marsh is the leading run scorer, scoring 1,603 runs." The use of "scorer" and "scoring" is quite repetitive as well. I know it isn't easy to work with items like this, but try modifying one of them for better prose.
  • Why is the HS column not sortable? That seems like a column where the ability to see the highest scores might come in handy for readers.
  • Don't see any need for an IPL league image in the middle of a See also section. I was under the impression that we had a special box to display a related portal in an article. Maybe that could be used instead.


Resolved comments from The Rambling Man (talk) 17:14, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Comments
  • Perhaps add "actress" before "Preity Zinta" as some international readers may not aware of her significance.
  • "paid a total of " no need for "a total of".
  • Expand BCCI before using the abbreviation.
  • Final sentence of first para is in an odd place for me, I'd merge it into the second para.
  • "reached the semi-final and finished in second position" I'm not sure how IPL works but how can you finish second if you only make the semi-final?
  • Second para is a little dry and focuses entirely on the team, not the players (the subject of this list), I'd expand the players para and reduce this.
  • "the highest in the team" you mean "the most"?
  • "with 73 overall" what is the purpose of "overall"?
  • I think, since the IPL is notable as a result of its auction for expensive foreigners, you could add nationality of these players as a column.
  • It would be better if the nationality column was next to the player name. The Rambling Man (talk) 11:47, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 09:44, 3 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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