Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Albert Stanley, 1st Baron Ashfield/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Karanacs 17:51, 7 September 2010 [1].

Albert Stanley, 1st Baron Ashfield[edit]

Nominator(s): DavidCane (talk) 22:32, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Another in my series on the early history of London's transport system. An exceptional administrator, Stanley was running the Detroit tramway system at the age of 20, the New Jersey tramway system at 32 and most of London's railways, buses and trams by 38. From 1916 to 1919, he was a member of the British cabinet as President of the Board of Trade. In the 1920s he was the driving force behind the creation of London Transport and led it through its "golden era". For something to do in his spare time he was a director of the Midland Bank and ICI. DavidCane (talk) 22:32, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comment - one double redirect (Baron Ashfield), no dablinks, no dead external links. Nikkimaria (talk) 23:08, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Removed. It used to point to a summary article on the Barony but it has recently been turned into a redirect.--DavidCane (talk) 23:52, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments -
~~No publisher for the Spanish American War Centennial site. (http://www.spanamwar.com/yosemitecrew.htm) and what makes this a reliable source?~~
- It's there to link to additional information. I've found the book that the website references online, so I've linked to that, although his mini-biography there is a bit inaccurate about his knighthood, which was not a baronetcy. I've moved the Centennial website to the External links.--DavidCane (talk) 00:05, 24 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
~~What makes http://thepeerage.com/p7739.htm#i77386 a reliable source? (Hint... it's not.)~~
- Just there to provide the date of the wedding and confirm the name of his second daughter. Barker, Who Was Who and the Times Obituary say that the marriage took place in 1904 and that he had two daughters but are not explicit on the date of the marriage and the daughters' names. I've found a Court Circular in a 1923 copy of the Times that gives both of their names, which can be used instead.--DavidCane (talk) 00:05, 24 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
~~Likewise http://openplaques.org/plaques/360?~~
- The English Heritage citation provides a reliable ref. This was added by another user, but as it provides a link to a photograph of the plaque and a location map, I left it in. I've moved it to external links. --DavidCane (talk) 00:05, 24 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 00:55, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comment—the lead seems far too short for an article of this size. Ucucha 07:35, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- I knew there was something I'd forgotten to do. It's always the lead. I have expanded.--DavidCane (talk) 00:05, 24 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comment - Overall, looks like a very finely researched article, splendid job. My one suggestion is to clarify his term of service at the head of transport things - which establishes his importance and gives the reader a little more reason to be interested in this fellow. At the moment, the lead looks like this (and I know you may still be working on it):

In 1907, his management skills led to his recruitment by the struggling UERL which he quickly helped recover from a financial crisis and then managed during the London Underground's greatest period of expansion.

He was Member of Parliament for Ashton-under-Lyne from December 1916 to January 1920 and was President of the Board of Trade between December 1916 and May 1919.

Two questions spring out at me here: first, you don't say exactly when the Underground's "greatest period" was; and second, you don't indicate that he had a long career at the helm of things nearly until his death - long after 1919, the last date mentioned in the lead. All this is brought out eventually in the course of the article, but it's nice to have a quick summary at the start.

I think you could easily improve the lead in these respects with just one more sentence or so in the lead, nothing too elaborate. Cheers! Textorus (talk) 15:15, 31 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. When you know a subject well, it's sometimes difficult to see the obvious bits that others are likely to find important. Of course his dates need to be there. Done.--DavidCane (talk) 21:44, 31 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I know just what you mean. I just created the article Pensacola and Atlantic Railroad - which is not ever intended to be FA status. Still, if your time permits, you might give it a glance and tell me what obvious omission(s) I've committed. Grin. Textorus (talk) 00:02, 1 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Question: Should not "former Prime Minister Andrew Bonar Law" be future P.M.? Kablammo (talk) 20:43, 4 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, fixed. I don't know when that error sneaked in. --DavidCane (talk) 00:24, 5 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.