User talk:Aukere

Welcome![edit]

Hello, Aukere, and welcome to Wikipedia! I hope you like the place and decide to stay. Here are some pages you might find helpful:

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I work with the Wiki Education Foundation, and help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment. If there's anything I can do to help with your assignment (or, for that matter, any other aspect of Wikipedia) please feel free to drop me a note. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:56, 4 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Welcome but be careful[edit]

If you are planning to edit an article on a chemical topic in Wikipedia, be careful that you understand what you are doing and plan to cooperate with other editors. Wikipedia does not exist for student completing homework assignments, but if your homework can enhance articles, that outcome would be wonderful. Some tips have been offered to your teacher here, please read them. --Smokefoot (talk) 01:07, 6 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Toxaphene Article Suggestions[edit]

You’ve added quite a bit of info to the topic which is great. I do feel that the article can also tackle the following questions:

Is there a specific event or public outcry that led to toxaphene being banned? What are the effects that it has on animals that may graze on these plants? Was it intentionally developed for use as a pesticide or determined to be used as such?
Because marine animals have exhibited higher levels of the chemical, how has it affected them? I.e. has it lead to a decrease in biodiversity\birth rates in specific species?
Are there other global initiatives that have taken a stand against the chemical? (Most of the information presented is centered around US policy involving the EPA & FDA)
- I think it would be interesting to note which countries have the highest use of toxaphene. Potentially doing some research in some regulation regarding these countries could be of use. You note that it was banned globally by the 2001 Stockholm Convention but is still in use. Please, clarify. Did this ban only apply to select countries or for specific uses?
What are other alternatives used instead of toxaphene?
“The dose necessary to induce nonfatal convulsions in humans is about 10 milligrams per kilogram body weight per day” – what is this equivalent to? I.e. would his be similar to eating 4 ears of corn?

Exposure & Health effects Sections[edit]

I think it would be best if you merged the “Exposure” and “Health effects” sections since they are related.

The following sentence seems a bit redundant since the paragraph above it essentially goes over the modes of exposure. “People that live near an area that has high toxaphene contamination are at high risk to toxaphene exposure through inhalation of contaminated air or direct skin contact with contaminated soil or water. People who eat large quantities of fish on a daily basis are more susceptible to toxaphene exposure”

Is there a difference between these two sentences? Consider merging them. “ Tests on lab animals show that toxaphene causes liver and kidney cancer, so the EPA has classified it as a Group B2 carcinogen, meaning it is a probable human carcinogen.[8] and “It is classified as an IARC Group 2B carcinogen.”

Best of luck with your future edits! Mbeez (talk) 07:15, 5 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Toxaphene Peer Review[edit]

Overall, the article is very well written and you guys really developed the content. Especially the lead page well summarizes the points to follow. The subsections are well divided as well. I just have some suggestions for each section.

Lead section:
Lead section well summarizes the sections to follow.

Composition:
I suggest adding wikilinks to “formula weight” since that is available. Also the last sentence “it is volatile enough to be transported for long distances through the atmosphere” should be quantified. I don’t think “long” is specific enough of a description.

Applications:
There could be a slight confusion with the first sentence in the second paragraph when you write “the first recorded usage of toxaphene was in 1966.” Since you write that it is most heavily used pesticide in the United States at the end of that sentence, I’m assuming that it was first ever used in the US as well but I think that should be made a bit clearer. Also if it is possible to find any information regarding which countries are still using toxaphene outside the US, it would be great to include that as well. I understand that “much” has been undocumented but more information regarding other countries than US would be helpful.

Production:
The production section focuses only on the history of production. As listed in http://www.atsdr.cdc.gov/toxprofiles/tp94-c5.pdf and other chemical pages with production section, I think description about how the chemical itself is created if more fitting for this section. I think most readers would come to that section expecting that kind of information, which I understand is listed in “composition” section. Maybe you should move around what’s in composition to production with bit more detail like chlorine gas being reacted with camphene in the presence of ultraviolet radiation and catalysts.

Environmental effects:
You should include info on how it is released into the environment; chemical spills, washed off from plants, and etc? Also instead of saying “fairly” insoluble you should state numerical value of its solubility. The last sentence “the levels of toxaphene have decreased…” should include a citation. Lastly this is a side suggestion, which you do not have to follow but it might be helpful to include removal section under environmental effects. Since it can be naturally degraded by dechlorination, possibly include the end products of dechlorination. Also if you look at this article (DOI: 10.1080/03601238709372579), there’s anaerobic microbial dechlorination methods to treat toxaphene-contaminated soil.

Exposure:
What are the byproducts of the dechlorination and oxidation in the liver? Do you have any information on area with high toxphene contamination? I think that information would be very interesting to read.

Health effects:
Quantify “sufficient quantities of toxaphene can damage the lungs…”, sufficient is not enough information. Also wikilink “central nervous system” Expansion of “Health effects in animals” is needed. In the lead section “testing performed on animals, mostly rats and mice, has demonstrated that toxaphene is harmful to animals”, so it should be followed up in this section but there is very limited information available.

Regulations:
Wikilink “Stockholm Convention on POPs”. Since it is controlled under Stockholm, there should be regulation by WHO. Include information of WHO regulation. Also if you look at this page <http://www.toxipedia.org/display/toxipedia/Toxaphene>, under “Uses,” it says “It is currently used only for the following: Scabies control in cattle, insect control for pineapples in Puerto Rico, Emergency treatment.” If these uses are still permitted, that should be made more clear in the regulations section. The paragraph structure right now makes it seem like there were exceptions but now it has all be canceled since 1990.

This article contains abundant details. All the sentences are easily/concisely written for the general public. I hope my suggestions would help in any way! Great work ☺--Jukaredaa (talk) 04:28, 7 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]