User:Thethief
"Harry likes comics" - Captain Obvious talking about Harry
"In Russia, Harry gets nerded out by YOU!" - Russian reversal on Harry.
frame|right|This is not Harry.
Harry Alexander Kurt Spider-Man Sewalski is the Capital Wasteland's last hope, if his Fallout 3 game is anything to go by. He is the sole owner of the Quantum Bands, which enhance his comic knowledge and allow him to bore the pants of people. In the near future, Harry plans to build his own comic university, in which to test those whom have never listened to his long comic rants. Following this, world domination is planned.
Also, don't let him near alcohol, or he might get addicted... if he isn't already.
The Gossip Club[edit]
Harry is a member of the Gossip Club, an ancient and secret society that meets every German class. The other Gossip Club members are:
- Caitie
- Alice
- Mel Kohler
- Jord. D Nelson
- Samuel P. Quirk
- Marcus
The ancient enemy of the Gossip Club is Frau Frank, who constantly attempts to stop the Gossip Club gossipping.
Unfortunately, over the past year, the Gossip Club has disbanded, due to half of the members leaving for the GEP. Much like a black hole, the GEP looks really cool, but in actual fact is a deep and inescapeable pit from which there is no freedom. So far the casualty list of people who have been lost to it include the majority of members from the Gossip Club, as well as Alex Otten.
Harry's Favourite Quotes[edit]
"We can make it successful if we work hard!" - James Kirchnerd
"God I'm good" - William Marshall (Talking about himself)
"Oh geez fellas" - Scott Elliott's patented catchphrase
"Meh." - Marcus's most frequently said catchphrase.
"I JUST REALISED SOMETHING!" - Scott Elliott's most annoying phrase.
"Attention for lunchtime announcements..........................
...............................................................
...............................................................
....................................................Thank you." -
Klemke fails once more.
"But... only guys have lollypops!" -Samantha Pua, on the way back from the Job Expo.
"This is not a tea party!" - Frau Frank yelling at the Gossip Club.
"At least I don't have an APRON SCARF!!!" - Nelson's alter ego (Ringo) yelling at
Georgia in German (the class that is).
"Kerry how much can I pay you to kill these two midgets?" - Will talking to Kerry
about killing Sam and Harry
"YEEEESSSSSSSSSS....." Mr Ryan talking to Nelson.
"Do you guys like boobs?" - Samantha Pua (Pow) randomly asking Harry and Quirk if they
like boobs. (This really did happen)
"Geht heim!" - Marcus's one-liner from the German play.
"STEP ON IT NELSON, STEP ON IT!" - Scott making a big deal about Nelson's habits.
"How do you draw boobs? I don't know what they look like" Sammy making another random call.
(This also happened. Really!)
"Ha, banishment!" - Harry's failed line from Romeo and Juliet.
"But does Elrond have... EXIT MOULD???!!!!" - Greta's brilliant call which only she and Harry get.
"I swear I saw an invisible spider!" - Nelson looking for a spider that crawled up his sleeve
"Oh yeah./Nice./Cool." - Default Scott responses. No matter how exciting your story was, it'll always
be one of these responses.
"Shut up you self obsessed whore!" - Changa yelling out in maths
"Did you pick that up in Europe?" - Marcus asked this after everything Sam
said after his trip to Europe
"But what pets are allowed on VLines?" - Quirk quizzing Harry and Marcus on the VLine service on the way back from Melbourne.
"Lillies have roots!" - Nelson states the absolutely most bloody obvious thing.
"Mmm....Mr. Birkett!" - Scott making his birthday invite list.
"...and then Nic went to Aba's, and Liam Peter came over." - The ending to every story Scott ever tells.
"....." - Scott's dad shouting.
"AARGH! Stinging nettles!" - Harry tries wiping his hands on grass and fails epicly.
Harry's Awesome friends[edit]
NOTE: Not everything on this page has been written by Harry. Quirk, Alice, Nelson, Marcus, Caitie, and Mel have all also contributed to it. Also, the reason there's hardly any pictures any more is because the Wikipedia staff took them away, since they don't have a sense of humour.
Samuel P. Quirk[edit]
Harry's best friend (probably), Samuel P. Quirk holds the world record for the fastest time to run from Mirboo North to Melbourne: 3.58 seconds. He's an awesome as runner who's like a modern day Quicksilver. In 2012 he'll be in London, getting pissed with his friends. The Olympics? Why the hell would he want to do them? Whenever Quirk leaves his house, his mum (who is awesome) makes Quirk a massive truckload hamper of food. Klemke pretends to be Quirk's coach, but in reality isn't.
Jord. D Nelson[edit]
Remember how rich Bill Gates was a few years ago? Times it by a billion. Then raise it by the power of a hundred. This is about a tenth of how much money Jord. D Nelson has, which he pretends not to have. Nelson lives in Spudtown and suffers from STML. On weekends Jord. D often visits his Singaporean girlfriend ....for.....fun.....things.... The best thing about Nelson? He's not racist. How do I know this? He's got a Chinese aunty! Nelson occassionally reverts to his evil alter ego, Ringo. When in Germany Nelson gets smashed all the time. Nelson can also imitate Aragog (the giant spider from Harry Potter) really well. Nelson also needs to learn to take a leaf out of Quirk's book concerning a certain Asian.
EAT THE RICH. Esset the reichen!
Also, Marcus used to think that Nelson was gay, but that's all in the past now.
Marcus Kratzat "Fashion Designer, Author, World's Worst Assassin"[edit]
Marcus, Marcus, Marcus.... undoubtedly one of Harry's best friends in the whole world (probably). Marcus is Harry's oldest friend, which is ironic, since he's the youngest old person in school. Marcus graduated from Mirboo North Primary School in 2005, where he soon proceeded to become the world's worst assassin. Marcus is recognisable by the fact that he always wipes his hands on his pants before doing a High-5, as he has sweaty hands. Marcus wields the Flaming Cucumber of Death in battle. Due to his excellent batting skills, Marcus is a prime candidate for the Australian Cricket Team, with his high shots.
Scott Michael Elliott![edit]
At the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Voldemort was seemingly destroyed. This is not true. Voldemort was reborn into the body of a young newborn baby. This baby soon grew up to be Scott Elliott, who looks like a younger version of Lord Voldemort. He often acts out things that Voldemort does, such as getting a pet snake (The Biancalisk!). One of the notable things about Scott is his white pasty skin, a result of the scurvy he has from never eating fruit. Scott also travels a lot, going to various shopping malls and towns, which is the equivalent of going to Neverland and back for him.
Scott is the author of the book The Mysterious Evil One, a story about Scott being declared God by aliens and then going into space to... actually it's never really explained, all that's said is that they can ride motorbikes or something. While not exactly a bestseller (no offense mate), this book has inspired many popular spin-offs, such as Geez it's my Fantasy book fellas and The Mysterious Evil One (Or What Scott Wishes Would Happen). Scott's cat Sandy (Excellent) is also the most famous cat in Boolarra for her amazing door opening skills. A common recurrance at Scott's house is for his brother Nic to go to their friend Aba's house, and to be replaced at Scott's house by Liam Peter.
Caitie Twomey ("Oh yes!")[edit]
Caitie Twomey lives in the wandering nomad tribe of Yinnar South (not Yinnar). The two nomad tribes of Yinnar and Yinnar South constantly fight each other for land ownership. Caitie herself lives in a small tent-like house on a hill which is constantly surrounded by her flock of alpacas. Caitie also knows that green M&Ms are sexy and represent sexuality in general. Caitie is the child of the rainbow, and is also a colour master. Her education from Boolarra Primary School shows. Caitie is also one of Quirk's cheerleaders. Caitie is born to be a flight centre assistant. Caitie clogs up her facebook friends news feeds with her liking every single page that exists.
Alice Stewart[edit]
Not to be confused with the vampire from the Twilight series, Alice is everyone's awesome as friend who lives in Boolarra. Alice and Samuel P. Quirk both have a kitchen full of high tech gadgets from the future (a.k.a. a cake mixer). Alice is the brilliant editor of Marcus's book "Shadow Legacy" (she's the brains in the friendship), and is Samuel P. Quirk's manager/cheerleader/supercoach on the awesome as dirtbike, trailing with Gatorade (Proudly sponsored by). Alice also went to Boolarra Primary with Caitie, where she learnt everything she knows now (hint hint). For some strange reason, Alice somehow thinks that Harry is a massive gossip. Alice also saves the world with her eco-friendly pens.
Mel Kohler[edit]
Mel is another of those people who are friends with everyone on the planet. She lives in in jumbuk ("omg i live on a sheep!!"). Mel Kohler is the owner of Coca Cola company, which is named after her. Mel is a cheerleader for Quirk's running team. Mel is also an awesome as drawer and artist.
Sammy Pua (pronounced Pow)[edit]
While pretending to be an innocent Mirboo North student, Sammy Pua is in reality the secret leader of Clan Pua of the Yakuza. Sammy is a super stealthy samurai sensei who has awesome ninja skills, and can kill a man at ten paces. Sammy is also a brilliant chef, and is related to Poh from MasterChef. Sammy is also Quirk's cute little Asian nutritionist and hot cheerleader.
Have you got a Pocket Sammy?
Alex and Nick Otten[edit]
If life was a comic book (which it sadly isn't), Nick and Alex would be Captain Britain and Psylocke. They are two awesome as people, who are both Harry's friends. Nick is well known for spending ages playing Warhammer on his computer, and majorly outclassing Harry in Oblivion. Alex is well known for being one of those people who is generally awesome and is friends with everyone. She also gains major awesome points for being a fan of Flight of the Conchords. Also, both Nick and Alex were playing Scrabble at an 18th birthday party (Nick's). Best party ever? Hellz yeah. Unfortunately, Alex has succumbed to the giant black hole known as the GEP since her (heroic?) return from Germany.
Torben[edit]
Torben is Harry's friend Scott's friend from thousands of years ago. He is also one of my friends that you don't know, i.e., if you're not him then you probably don't know him. He is a Norwegian descendant of the god of thunder, Thor, and can turn into the Norse god at will. Another of his powers is that he has a magic trenchcoat with which he can change his identity into millions of celebrities, such as the Doctor, or Edward Cullen. He also has a dint in his chest which would be the perfect place for a chest-mounted laser cannon if he ever considered getting a bionic upgrade.He also has a thing for slashing people with knives in Call of Duty.
I should probably also mention Torben's friends Holly, Lauren, Kelly, and Nigel. Glad that's done.
Megan McAllister[edit]
Megan is a posh exchange student from South Australia. When she came to Victoria, she found it hard to communicate with the locals, as the language was completely different. A prime example of this is during the infamous "grarph" incident in Physics. This almost started World War III between South Australia and Victoria. Megan also owns a pink pen so stylish that you could stick it on a runway and call it a model. In her spare time Megan is a gun athlete.
Katie Duljas[edit]
Katie is a friend of Harry's, who has a tendency to burst eardrums when excited and yelling at people. She gains major friendship points for being one of the few people to realise the greatness and complexity of the amazing game Oblivion. Unfortunately, she was lost in the Great GEP Distaster of '09, and is still out there somewhere, trapped.... in the GEP.
Brendan Brownscombe[edit]
Better known as Browny, Brendan is the 2 metre tall giant at Mirboo North Secondary College who is always happy because he is addicted to morphine. According to him, however, he is "an unco wanker". This is definitely not true because Browny rocks.
Kirchnerd[edit]
James Kirchnerd, the most boring person in the school. James is the most stubborn, most annoying, most nerdy person in the whole school! Not only that, James uses the acronym lol to a disgusting extent, which was discovered through Facebook conversations. Which is why he's my friend. James is known for being scared of digging holes and water. James is the proud owner of Australia's biggest Sasquatch farm, to use an age-old joke. James also wears a Danger Mouse T-Shirt for some really weird reason. Oh yeah, and he once made a ramp out of a ruler and a glue stick in Archaeology, but that's another story. James did 8 physics practise exams and was still disappointed with score of 96%.
William Marshall[edit]
Better known as the Travion Lord, Will is the most up himself person in the whole world. In Will's eyes, he is the king of the world (he's not). At the end of the day, Will goes home to play Travion for 16 hours, before going to the Bragcave, a cave where all the members of his family discuss how god they're good they are. Come to think of it, Will isn't even my friend! Will is secretly going out with Matthew Redmond, a massive fag.
Recently, Will has grown a massive Abraham Lincoln-esque pube beard, making him easy to mistake for a homeless person. This is completely untrue, as everyone knows that he's just jobless (as he never does any actual work on the computers in MNSC).
Harry's Allies[edit]
Juno[edit]
Harry's awesome dog. Juno has an annoying habit of jumping up and trying to eat people that she likes. This was especially notable when Juno met Sammy, because Juno was at least twice the size of Sammy. Juno also really hates baths.
Greta Sewalski[edit]
Greta is Harry's much older 20-year old sister, fast approaching death by old age. She is also Harry's non-embarrassing form of transport. She also refuses to accept defeat, as seen in the poking war she and Harry are competing in on Facebook. Greta is currently in Germany because apparently ditching your friends and family is the way to go...never mind if anyone's turning 18 or anything... Greta is the only person aside from Harry to get the Elrond/Exit Mould joke. It's an inside joke thing.
Ms. Bath[edit]
Ms. Bath is the ruler of Good Mathsland. An ancient legend tells of a rumour of the time she apparently used a footbath to explain trigonometry. Ms. Bath is a secret supporter of Nelson Mandela, and often mistakes Jord. D for Nelson Mandela when in class. Ms. Bath is related to Elliott Spencer, as both of them are extremely enthusiastic about their work. Ms. Bath thinks that Mr. Fawcett is spunky. Ms. Bath also always knows the latest goss at MN, and generally does her famous wink at people when she knows who they like.
Doctor Doom[edit]
Doctor Doom is the ruler of Latveria, a tiny European nation. Although he is fictional and exists only in Fantastic Four comics, he makes it to the allies list because he provides a brilliant excuse for when Harry doesn't want people to know what he is talking about.e.g.:
QUIRK: So yeah, if you get into his room...
HARRY: ...and then, I'll stab him with the dagger...
SAMMY: What are you guys talking about?
HARRY: Doctor Doom.
Team Quirk[edit]
Quirk's running abilities have made him so popular that he has a band of followers who believe in what he does. Quirk's team is:
- Samuel P. Quirk (Leader)
- Alice Stewart (Coach)
- Samantha Pua (Quirk's Nutritionalist/Cheerleader)
- Mel Kohler (Cheerleader)
- Caitie Twomey (Cheerleader)
- Jacob Best and his friends (Fanboys)
- Mr. Klemke (Annoying follow-on)
Wikipedia is completely non-flictional and completely unbiased.