Cet utilisateur ne comprend pas le français ou seulement avec des difficultés notables.
fgn-n
This user is a native speaker of foreign.
You have found my userpage. Congratulations! Now you must suffer through reading these rather humorous quotes that I have come across during my life.
"Since he has written that he already has a prior right to bespatter and besmirch the royal crown with (very bad word), will we not have the posterior right to proclaim the (another very bad word) tongue of the practitioner of posterioristics most fit to lick with his anterior the very posterior of a (profanity) she-mule until he shall have learned more correctly to infer posterior conclusions from prior premesis?" -- Saint Sir Thomas More
The quote below is my favorite example of BAD English useage by any nationality
"When a passenger of the foot heave in sight, trumpet him with the horn. Tootle him melodiously at first, but if he continues to obstacle your path, tootle him with vigor." -- Driving Instruction Sign in Tokyo
While this quote is mildly humorous in itself, the way I saw it in context it was laughable. This quote was one of only two the author could find for useage in his educational book on the Basques.
"Wow. These Basques are swell people', Bill said." -- Ernest Hemmingway from The Sun Also Rises
(in heavy French accent) "An Englishman will not win this tournament, because the Pope himself is French!"
Well the Pope may be French but Jesus is English. You're on!
(sung to the theme of "Stars and Stripes Forever") Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderlaaaaaand, Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland...
"Pray to God that He may cause you to lose your beauty, so that you may better serve Him!"
I plan to contribute to the Code Lyoko section of this encyclopedia through edits (major and minor), new articles (I'm planning a couple at this point) and talk page suggestions. I may expand to other areas of Wikipedia (history, Christianity, Smelly Bear Galactica, etc.) later on. I also plan to be helpful to my fellow editors, the SysOps and not be a pain or time-waster.
I also suck really really bad. I am possibly the dumbest person I know.
Overall, I find this site to be one of humanity's better creations. It is incredibly helpful and informative and highly interactive, making joining, editing and talking a breeze. Since I am a computer noob, I'm VERY thankful for Wikipedia's use of simple syntax when formatting. Many of the site's helpful policies, its Barnstar reward system and various offshoots/features encourage a strong sense of community and achievement. Despite some arguments that break out, all in all I think Wikipedia is a wonderful addition to the internet and I look forward to furthering its cause.
Sometime in July, 2006 My grandparents are visiting from Oregon and, as a family, we recently went out to dinner at a riverside restaurant. To put ourselves in the mood, we got drinks at a bar somewhere. Now, the barman doesn't know the difference between alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks, so I'm wondering how he got his license. I'm 16, and I end up with a Rob Roy, a super alcohol drink full of Bourbon and Scotch. It made me sick...but boy was it good.
August 5, 2006 All right, I'm in New Mexico on vacation. My group went to Santa Fe for the afternoon and one of the guys purchases Z Hot Sauce (motto: "It won't kill you, but you wish it would") at a street fair. Of course, we think the manufacturer is bluffing. Fast forward a few hours. We're eating at an American buffet in Albuquerque and we try it out. We are FREAKING. First your tongue burns, then your mouth, then your head. You get a tension headache from this stuff. The only thing that will heal this is ice cream...lots of it. What's worse, this sauce burns with every piece of food you put in your mouth (sauced and unsauced) and it kills your appetite, so we didn't eat anything else. The reactions are priceless. One guy's eyes bulge out a few inches, another guy gets his Mountain Dew desecrated with hot sauce and that is only with 2 drops. Then, this waiter comes by. He's from Mexico and down there it's pretty spicy. He tries 12 drops on a scrap of bread. For the next half hour, he is in the staff area chugging soda after soda and keeling over ready to puke. Then it's my turn to try the sauce. Everyone expects me to flip. I give NO REACTION whatsoever. Dunno what happened, but now my friends think I'm a cheater.
August 18, 2006 I'm on a Southwest Airlines flight from Albuquerque to Chicago. One of the flight attendants tells us that if we crush our complimentary snack boxes into tiny squares, we get a prize. I crush mine (snack wrappers and all) into a tiny, but thick, cubical thing. I give it to her and she asks me, "Is this your attempt at making it small?" I reply with, "Uh...yeah." She then comes back with a crown, I repeat, a crown made of airline peanut bags held together with Southwest Airline toothpicks. What's more, I put this goofy thing on and leave it on while walking around Chicago Midway Intercontinental Airport. I got many stares from passerby in the food court and moving walkways.
The pieces below are not from Solon, or from Kant or from Asimov. They are from ME.
Also, if you wish to comment on what you see below, by all means, do so on my talk page, found here.
"I think atheists should take control of Congress and the White House. In fact, I encourage them to. Did you know that numerous Senators believe that it's okay for them to destroy the environment because they believe that Jesus is coming back real soon and will clean up their mess like a nanny? If our "Christian" president is crusading against Islam, what does that tell you? Many of the greatest racists and pirates in history, including Christopher Columbus, Hernan Cortes, Reynald de Chatillion, the Paxton Boys and others were self-proclaimed Christians. Who better to flaunt and distort the teachings of Christ than Christians themselves with racism, slavery and butchering? In fact, I would say that many atheists follow the words of God better than some Christians. With all these "Christians" controlling government and making a mess of things, we need some good atheism in power for a while. That way Pat Robertson, Ann Coulter and the neo-conservatives can shut up and stop casting Christianity in a bad light. Let some atheists take over, so real every-day Christians can show who they are and what their faith really is."
"Orthodox Christianity, marauding "Christians" screwing up the world, "Christian" demagogues. That's what's driving people away from this faith. That's what's driving a wedge between us and everyone else. If those belonging to the aforementioned categories would shut up for a while perhaps our religion would get more respect and at least an open mind."
"Darwin was not an idiot. Darwin was not a blasphemer. Darwin was not a heretic. Darwin was an intelligent scientist who was right."
"Of course evolution, science and religion are compatible. How can they not be? Read the Book of Genesis. If you look closely, you see that each "day" is host to some event such as the creation of plants or animals. If you read closely, you realize that, admittedly with some deviations, the story of creation closely follows evolution. First there was water full of unicellular organisms, they produced oxygen, that made plants grow, the organisms evolved into animals, animals came to land and then man comes along. Also, both man and Earth are made of materials deposited by stars when they blew up millions of years ago. Man is literally stardust. Well, what a coincidence! Adam was made from the dust of the earth which is stardust. Oh, splendor, it all makes sense! Maybe if the debate-loving evolutionists, rabid creationists and Richard Dawkins would shut up and think instead of throat grapple, they could realize that their two fields share common elements."
"Behold, Evolutio-Creationism. That is what I believe. I believe that God works through science. It's all fine and dandy to believe that God can go ZAP and there are living creatures. That used to work until Darwin. You see, man has an innate tendancy towards logic. Of course that was snuffed by the Church in the middle ages, but no matter how long the dark ages last you inevitably hit the Renaissance and then the Enlightenment and logical thought returns. If God is all-knowing, surely he would know that this was to pass. So he thinks ahead of time. Since humans understand science more than metaphysics, God puts his miracles of life, Earth and the Universe into scientific processes so that his children can understand the miracles and better glorify them. God can go ZAP and we have the Big Bang. God can go ZAP and the process of evolution begins. God created everything and jumpstarted the processes, but science still holds its own."
"There is one great question theoretical physics has not yet answered: Why is there something instead of nothing? Come on people. God was bored with the point of singularity. He needed something tangible to create, judge and rule wisely."
"Through my experiences I've come to a conclusion: there are two kinds of atheists in this world. Those who say, "I profess no faith in God, but you do and that's a-okay. Let's be friends." I have friends who act just like that and they are amazingly good natured. Then there is the other type. This is the type that forms atheist councils and groups, the kind who write books attempting to refute God's existence, the kind who try to get "In God we Trust" off the dollar bill, the kind who actively try to convince you that God doesn't exist. Those are what I call the militant atheists. I have no patience for them. If you want to tell me I'm deluded in my beliefs, keep it to yourself. If you have a problem with my beliefs, tough! I'm not changing to make you happy. Why, just the other day I saw a book for sale online called "The Case Against God" where this author, George something, I can't remember the name, writes about how God can't possibly exist. I have no patience for his kind, trying to tell me I'm wrong. If I ever came across one of his publications at Border's Books, I would buy it, take it home, dump some gasoline on it and burn it. Call me violent, call me extreme, call me intolerant. That's your opinion. I have no trouble with friendly atheists. I have problems with activist ones. And, if you happen to fall into both of those categories, I'm sorry. I also will forgive anyone who tries to tell me I'm an idiot for believing in God."
"Richard Dawkins proved that it is possible to be an intellectually-fullfilled atheist. No duh, Mr. D. It's not like Christianity is the font of all knowledge. However, as an atheist, you can't be spiritually fulfilled. Not that you express any interest in being so, but let me tell you, it feels a lot better than knowing facts."
"You know how I can relate to atheists? I was one once. When I was young I used to go to church, but only because my Mom made me. I didn't give a crap about God or Jesus. I just wanted to stay home. But we went to a new church and now I'm a full-blown Christian and proud to say it. I could consider myself a beacon of hope to atheists, but that's pride and self-aggrandisement. I'm no beacon. I'm no Statue of Liberty. I'm just a convert whose life could be made example of."
"I take the middle road whenever I can in life. I hate extremeism of all sorts. I'm an Independent politically. I'm an Evolutio-Creationist Christian religiously. The middle road puts you in a small group all your own, but it's a quiet group. When have I seen Independent street rallies? Never. Who are Independents? No politician I know. Nader isn't an Independent. He's a Communist. Lieberman isn't an Independent. He just changed parties to preserve his chances of keeping his Senate seat. Will someone please become a voice for the Independents, or the middle-path Christians or whoever? I'm tired of being carried on the wave back and forth between left and right. Someone make an island, please. Someone speak out for all non-associateds and bring some much-needed reason to this world."
"I'm going to break the taboo and be a Christian science-fiction author. Deal with that, Asimov!"
"Stephen Colbert is probably one of the most admirable comedians. He is smart, good-humored and doesn't suck like Adam Carolla. What's more, Colbert constructively uses his show for satire, instead of spitting out a string of swears like Dave Chapelle. Even more, Colbert balances comedy with his own Catholic faith. He isn't like Carolla or Asimov or La Mettrie. Colbert found a niche, a middle road, and I respect that. Bravo Mr. Colbert. I look forward to meeting you in Heaven."
"I should write an autobiography some day, but I need to do something first."
Hi, Kevin! It's me, Angie! Although William's virtual form will be revealed in Final Round, Jedi General created one in which he is an Arabian sheik-type person. We're gonna use it in New and Improved. Angie Y. 19:08, 23 October 2006 (UTC)
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