User:Accharlotte
Accharlotte (pronoun)
Definition: style meister; aspiring satirist; aspiring writer; apsiring linguist; francophile; anglophile; armchair traveller; klutz.
Qualities: possessing a terrible sweet tooth; reads voraciously; shops compulsively.
The World Cup Epic[edit]
The final whistle went off for the second time that scorching Berlin day¹.
The results of the World Cup will be decided by a penalty shootout.
Fabio Grosso shall be the fifth and final player from the Italian team to take the stand at the 9-metre penalty mark.
The world waits with bated breath as he poised to strike with his left foot.
With one swift flick, the proud giant-slayer² crumbles to her knees.
It seemed as if the entire Greek Pantheon were present at the Olympiastadion.
One can just imagine Zeus watching the proceedings on his throne with Hera by his side.
The Italian team had Athena and Ares playing as the twelfth and thirteenth players alongside the chosen eleven.
And as the fifth goal slammed into the net, Nike took flight in ecstasy.
The whole world shall split into delirium or grief as Hermes heralds the news to the mortals.
¹9th July 2006, Sunday
²France defeated Brazil during the World Cup in 1986, 1998 and 2006.
--Accharlotte 10:29, 10 July 2006 (UTC)
Disclaimer: I'm NOT a football fan. Am just a francophile.
The Birth of Venus[edit]
This famous painting by Sandro Botticelli (circa 1482-84) that hangs in The Uffizi Gallery depicts the svelt goddess standing on a giant oyster sans a single scrap of cloth and bare-footed (gasp!!!) I'm no art critic but that seems to me an inaccurate portrayal given the unreasonable love affair between women and their shoes.
Bottecelli did get one thing right though, the painting doubtlessly articulates the other great passion of women, jewellery. Venus must most definitely be standing on an entire bed of pearls.
Venus, goddess of erotic love and beauty, was born out of the foams that formed on the shores of Cyprus when her father, Uranus' castrated testicles was cast into the sea. Naturally the shoes that adorned her feet would probably be fashioned out of fishbone carpeted with seaweed (for comfort) and topped with starfish for toegrips.
Primitive yet au naturel, thus the first ever pair of shoes would be invented. And henceforth begins the inseparable partnership between women and their shoes.
A Shoe by any other Name...[edit]
Women are arguably the more sensible sex concerning most matters, except when it comes to our choice of footwear. They can be led like mules by dangling a carrot at the end of a pole. This is probably why shoes of the same name were thus conceived. And no small coincidence why the quest for the perfect pair of shoes remains elusive, not to mention our obstinate insistence on looking for them.
Next on the agenda, we discuss the pumps. The de rigueur footwear in the boardroom, the pumps are named because of the sound it makes when the heels hit the floor of the hallowed conference rooms. But this author imagines a very different scenario.
Salvatore Ferragamo's Vara pumps without a doubt "pumped" women to giddy heights when it debuted (imagine a carjack pumping a stranded vehicle off the ground to facilitate the changing of a flat tire), the better to facilitate the brainwashing of women!
But seriously the elevated heels endowed women with more height; we acquire a more commanding stature instantly, thus allowing us to feel more powerful.
Slingbacks on the other hand, were never meant for "slung back" lounging. The strap at the back of the heel is anything but liberating.
Next on the list: the stilettos. Stilettos were either a macho joke or a warning to our less sensible counterparts. They remind men of the weapon of the same name and were just as lethal on our feet and backs. The high heels forced her body to lean forward, giving the illusion of perkier breasts, and pushing the buttocks outwards. A higher, firmer, rounder ass pronto! Dangerous curves indeed.
Glass Slippers[edit]
Ladies, leave the fate of the world to the boys. Indulge them in their search for The Holy Grail. We have more pressing issues at hand -- our Holy Crusade for those divine heels. Just as every lady deserves her perfect mate, each outfit in every woman’s wardrobe demands the perfect pair of shoes. Nothing less. Ergo the delicate quest for those precious heels is not dissimilar to the chase surrounding Cinderella’s glass slippers.
This world-famous fairy tale was written in 1697 by Charles Perrault. The publisher made a mistake, substituting "vair" (fur in French) for "verre" (glass in French), and the impossible pursuit ensues for Cinderella’s modern predecessors. Are we doomed to wander the malls forever in search of our very own glass slippers? The unfortunate answer is a resounding “YES!!!” but we won’t have it any other way.
--Accharlotte 06:56, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
Disclaimer: Yes, I own too many shoes.
Too Much Is Not Enough!!!
Scarves[edit]
Scarves are the ultimate feminine accessory. It is no mere coincidence they also epitomise the versatility of feminine strength and her ever-changing disposition.
Their versatility is characterised by their multiple uses as headwraps, belts, pareos, haltertops... The list is as bottomless as her imagination, naturally.
Their ever changing qualities stem from their rainbow-hued prints, not unlike the multi-fold facets of female roles. A fold here, one beholds the migratory birds flying south, a flip there reveals the autumnal leaves dancing in the wind...
She never fails to surprise her beholder.
Scarves & Brides[edit]
The search for the perfect wedding gown can be as arduous as the search for that Mr Perfect "to have and to hold... till death do us part". The frustrated bride may consider adding a modern twist to her gown , immortalizing that precious "I do" moment with her personal style, with a scarf.
This idea is borrowed from Sarah Jessica Parker's much-loved TV alter-ego, Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City. The maid-of-honour to Charlotte York had tied a Pucci-print scarf around the waist of her knee-length A-line dress.
The more conservative may consider a whitish background with muted prints while the more adventurous can experiment with bolder prints. Take note though, the "less is more" fashion rule that has been preached ad nauseam applies: Keep the gown simple. The embroidered, lacey or sequinned details should be kept to a minimum as they may overcrowd the overall visual effect.
Brides with a slender waist may emphasize this feature a la Carrie Bradshaw. An empire-cut gown enhanced with a scarf underneath the bustline will elongate the silouette for brides with a slim lanky figure. Paired with a high-sheen satin skirt, a cream/light beige scarf with simple prints worn as a tube-top or halter-top shows off the bride's smooth shoulders and flawless back.
Have fun experimenting!
--Accharlotte 06:56, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
Disclaimer: Yes, I morph into a couch potato at times.
Alcohol & Men[edit]
The ubiquitous beer in every man's fridge is brewed from a medieval recipe of hops and malt (or barley), said to have been invented by monks! Best served chilled, with a mandatory frothy foam cap. Smooth on the palate and throat, it has a slight bitter aftertaste.
The equally bubbly but more expensive counterpart to beer, champagne is effervescent and lose their fizz too fast, too soon. French calvary lopped off the necks of champagne bottles with their sabres to obtain the sweet ambrosia within to celebrate their victories in battles. Modern conventionalities would serve this nectar in elongated flutes to preserve the longevity of its “bubbly" disposition.
On the other hand, the deep rich liquor of excellent Bordeaux or Merlot is acquired only through the meticulous aging of fermented grape juice in huge oak barrels. However, if one is careless or lackadaisical, one may end up with a huge vat of vinegar.
Nonetheless credit must be given to the brewers of balsamic vinegar. True aceto balsamic vinegar must be aged a minimum of ten years, and will sell for anywhere between $50.00 and $500.00 per bottle. It will no doubt add instant interest to any wilted lettuce leave.
With all that is said and done, one realises that the words wine connoisseurs choose to embellish their poison with are not dissimilar to the descriptions of man.
--Accharlotte 06:56, 11 July 2006 (UTC)
Disclaimer: Yes, I emulate the Greek Goddesses who overindulge in ambrosia everynow and then...