Template:Did you know nominations/William B. Jordan

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:10, 23 September 2020 (UTC)

William B. Jordan

  • Comment: I personally prefer the original hook.

Created/expanded by The Most Comfortable Chair (talk). Self-nominated at 20:02, 10 September 2020 (UTC).

  • Article length of over 6000 characters is good for the new article of just 2 days. No copyvio or plagiarism concerns verified with Earwig copyvio detector. Reliable sources are used. BOTH the original and ALT1 hooks checks out and is properly referenced. No need for a QPQ since it is less than 5 for the nominator. Article is Good To Go.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:00, 11 September 2020 (UTC)
  • Hi, I came by to promote this, but neither hook is "hooky". The purpose of a hook is to "reel in" the reader to click on the article and learn more. These hooks tell us nothing about him. I think you have better hook material in his "eye for art". Yoninah (talk) 11:29, 15 September 2020 (UTC)
  • ALT2a: ... that William B. Jordan is credited for turning the Meadows Museum's collection into the most prominent collection of Spanish art outside of Spain with no prior work experience?
  • ALT2b: ... that William B. Jordan is credited for making the Meadows Museum, struggling with a scandal, the host to the most prominent collection of Spanish art outside of Spain with no prior work experience?
Greeting, Yoninah. I tried to find something "hooky" that was related to his acquisitions but so far I haven't found anything that would be unique to him. Most sources I come across praise his abilities, but I doubt he would be the only art expert to be described that way. I will keep looking, but I had a different idea for an ALT2. He is most notable for his work at the Meadows Museum, in particular how he changed its reputation into a prominent one, at a time when they had just opened and were struggling, with no prior work experience. I have expanded on that in the article. I have used "most prominent" as different sources describe its collection as "the best" or "the finest" collection of Spanish art outside of Spain. Let me know what you think. Thank you for helping out. — The Most Comfortable Chair 15:11, 15 September 2020 (UTC)
  • @The Most Comfortable Chair: thank you for the alts. As much as you want to represent him properly, a hook is not the place to do that. It has to be hooky, not narrative. But if you want to proceed with the alts, then the last clause, with no prior work experience, is hanging onto the end in a strange way. You could write instead:
  • ALT2a-1: ... that with no prior work experience, William B. Jordan turned the Meadows Museum's collection into the most prominent collection of Spanish art outside of Spain?
  • ALT2a-2: ... that with no prior work experience, William B. Jordan made the Meadows Museum, struggling with a scandal, the host to the most prominent collection of Spanish art outside of Spain?
  • IMO ALT2a/2a-2 has too many facts in it. ALT2a-1 sounds good to me. And you? Yoninah (talk) 15:46, 15 September 2020 (UTC)
ALT2a-1 seems like the best choice to me. Thank you for your help, Yoninah. — The Most Comfortable Chair 15:51, 15 September 2020 (UTC)
  • ALT2a-1 hook facts verified and cited inline. Rest of review per Doug Coldwell. ALT2a-1 good to go. Yoninah (talk) 16:05, 15 September 2020 (UTC)