Template:Did you know nominations/Fredrik Önnevall

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:26, 9 May 2018 (UTC)

Fredrik Önnevall[edit]

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Fredrik Önnevall

~~... that ...Fredrik Önnevall (pictured) in the series "Bästa mannen", broadcast on Sveriges Television, travelled around Sweden interviewing men about how it is to be a man in today's society ?~~
- ALT1:... that ...Swedish television presenter Fredrik Önnevall (pictured) helped smuggle a Syrian boy refugee from Athens to Stockholm?

Reviewed:Chief Management Officer of the Department of Defense

Created by BabbaQ (talk). Self-nominated at 17:35, 30 March 2018 (UTC).

Article was created on the day it was nominated so it meets the newness and length requirements. Article is adequately sourced, and the image is appropriately licensed. Earwigs gives a score of 0.0%. Both hooks are sourced inline and verified; Swedish source accepted for ALT0, while ALT1 is cited to English sources. There is one small typo in the article: "countrie food culture", but this should easily be fixed. The third paragraph is also awkwardly written and may need to be rephased, though I guess this can be done quickly so it's not a point against the nomination. However, although ALT1 was my preference, it seems to focus too much on a negative incident in the person's life, so it is struck. In addition, while ALT0 is approved, I'm suggesting an ALT2 below since it might be more interesting for readers not familiar with Swedish television:

ALT2~~... that Fredrik Önnevall (pictured) provided Swedish commentary for the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing?~~

Narutolovehinata5 ^tccsdnew 00:06, 18 April 2018 (UTC)

Done. And I agree with you about the hook. Thanks.BabbaQ (talk) 00:18, 18 April 2018 (UTC)

I suggest adding a little to ALT2 to make it hookier, especially if it's a lead hook:
ALT3: ... that Fredrik Önnevall (pictured), who speaks fluent Chinese, was Sveriges Television's first correspondent in Beijing and provided commentary for the opening ceremony of the 2008 Summer Olympics? Yoninah (talk) 20:15, 2 May 2018 (UTC)

I agree. Fine by me.BabbaQ (talk) 21:56, 2 May 2018 (UTC)

Thanks. We need an uninvolved reviewer to review ALT3. Yoninah (talk) 22:10, 2 May 2018 (UTC)

This hook is probably the way to go, but the issue is that the lede says he is fluent, but the article does not, it only says he speaks Chinese. The source is behind a paywall, does the source comment on his fluency, if if so, would someone add the degree of proficiency to the article body, so that the hook claim is immediately followed by the citation? @Yoninah: @BabbaQ: @Narutolovehinata5:. Thanks! 78.26 _{(spin me / revolutions)} 16:01, 4 May 2018 (UTC)

Fixed the tweak. Added a second source were he is one if the people being interviewed about why being fluent in Chinese is good.BabbaQ (talk) 16:50, 4 May 2018 (UTC)

- all three claims in the hook directly supported by inline citations, each coming directly after the claim. ALT3 is good to go for mainpage exposure. Rest of DYK criteria per previous review. 78.26 _{(spin me / revolutions)} 17:02, 4 May 2018 (UTC)

Good. Thanks. I hope the image is used.BabbaQ (talk) 21:20, 4 May 2018 (UTC)