Talk:Stephen Smith (abolitionist)

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Untitled[edit]

Sylvia Benedict: Lead: The introductory sentences are good but there needs to be some commas added and make sure that the period goes before the intent citation.

Yi Li: You have a good start. your content is very objective, and your writing is clear and organized. Just make sure to put more content and headings on. You have bit grammar mistake, but overall your first draft is very well. — Preceding unsigned comment added by PPJU (talk • contribs) 22:52, 28 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Clarity of article: The content is good and clear in regards to who and what Stephen Smith was but what made your article hard to follow was the grammatical errors and missing words. However, you did get straight to the point which aided in your clarity.

Balanced coverage: — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sylviaeggsbenedict (talk • contribs) 22:57, 28 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Balanced coverage- Sylvia Benedict:you had good coverage overall with good uses of in text sources that were reliable and credible. I would try and expand more on the significance in his aid to help slaves since he was once a slave himself. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sylviaeggsbenedict (talk • contribs) 23:00, 28 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Prof. Smith Feedback: Hi Cesar, You're off to a good start with your article and you seem to have found solid sources. I think that you'll need to do some fairly major revisions to get this in proper shape for the final version: 1) Improve the lead. I would write a shorter and more direct lead the focuses primarily on his significance as an African American, something along the lines of "Stephen Smith was a Pennsylvania African American businessman who contributed his wealth to the cause of fighting slavery." 2) The "Life After Slavery" section needs to be broken up into different parts and retitled. Since he got his freedom in 1816, virtually all of this life was after slavery. I would create a new section called "Business Ventures" to cover most of the information in this paragraph and then create a new heading called "Abolitionist Activism" or something like that to cover my next point. 3) I looked at the Black Past article on Smith and it seemed like you left out significant and relevant portions of Smith's abolitionist career mentioned in that article. I would go back and include information about the mobs that burned down his two buildings, his role in the Philadelphia Hall, and his move to Canada. 4) Be sure to proofread to eliminate a lot of typos and other errors.StaceySmithOSU (talk) 19:46, 1 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]