Talk:Sagara Sanosuke/GA2

GA Review[edit]

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Hi, I will be reviewing this article for GA and adding comments below.

"Sanosuke was one of the last major figures of the series to be created. Watsuki created him to be Kenshin's best friend, who will punch when he may be in a sad state to make him "wake up"." - was Kenshin usually depressed or in a sad state? How would punching him fix this and make him "wake up".
"Shiba Ryōtarō's version of Harada as the one he wanted to use to design" - Do you mean: Shiba Ryōtarō's version of Harada was the one he wanted to use as a model for his design?
" Watsuki saw Shiba Ryōtarō's version of Harada as the one he wanted to use to design and remarks his hair strangest things he has ever drawn." - This does not quite make sense. Do you mean that Harada's hair was one of the strangest drawings he has ever made? Or that Harada's hair was very strange to draw? - Perhapsy you could describe what was so strange about drawing his hair.
"Instead of drawing him with a zanbatō, Watsuki added a sword with a notable large size." - Do you mean: Watsuki gave him a sword notably larger in size? (At first I thought you meant Watsuki used the zanbatō to draw him!)
"noted that the character was "smarter" than how he would have liked in the first few episodes, and tried to slowly "dumb" him because as he thought that the same thing happened in the Japanese version of the series." - do you mean that the character was written to be smarter than Clark Cheng like and in the subsequent episodes he tried to portray him as dumb? (new sentence) - The same thing happened in the Japanese version of the series.
It is not good to use quotes when you are not quoting. If you are quoting, you need to give a citation.
"Although Sanosuke may punch him occasionally,[17] Kenshin notes that that makes him his most reliable friend." - perhaps you could explain this more, in light of what was written about about punching him because he was sad.
"During the Kyoto arc..." - could you explain what this means? Also, "Jinchū arc". Do you mean story line?
" the Futae no Kiwami " - can you explain what this is?
"a deeper personality" - do you mean a more human personality, or a more emotional personality, or what?
"voicing Sanosuke in the original video animations very complicated because..." - not grammatical as it is missing a verb.

These are just some of the prose problems. Perhaps you could get a copy editer fluent in English. Also, the story needs to be explained more clearly, perhaps by adding more detail.

The references and organization are very good.

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): The prose has problems, examples noted above. I tried to copy edit the article but I could only do so much because I do not know the subject matter. Also, perhaps more words could be wikilinked or the wording explained. b (MoS): No obvious MoS errors
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): Is very well referenced b (citations to reliable sources): The sources appear reliable c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): It has four non-free images which are too many for this article. b (appropriate use with suitable captions): Captions are appropriate.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

I did some copy editing but I am not familiar enough with the subject to do a complete. With some more work, this can be a GA. It is not quite ready at this point, as explained above, but it is not that far away. (And four non-free images is too many.) Best wishes and good luck with further work on this article. —Mattisse (Talk) 18:13, 9 October 2008 (UTC) Further comments[reply]

I went through it and copy edited it. Please make sure I did not change the meaning by changing the wording.
The article still needs to flow more, so that the sentences and sections are connected and make sense as a whole. Examples:
When you say the "franchise", what franchise are you meaning?
In Plot overview, the first paragraph describes him leaving his family and gaining a reputation over the next ten years. Then the second paragraph starts "At the start of the series..." Which came first? Did the first paragraph happen before the start of the series?
In the Reception section, you say that he was comical, while elsewhere no mention is made of this and he is tragic. It does not seem like the same character.
Perhaps you could explain more, like when you say "Sanosuke's first fight in the series against Kenshin was stereotypical for an action series due to the differences between Sanosuke's and Kenshin's personalities." I know that is a quote from a review, but what did they mean?

Sorry that I am having such difficultly understanding. —Mattisse (Talk) 22:27, 10 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done.Tintor2 (talk) 23:29, 10 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

What is all the "suffering he experienced" before the story line starts? Why is he seen as a tragic figure? Also, in the plot or the character sections, you don't give any examples of comedy or of tragedy. Is the tragedy because he was injured several times? Is this different from other action characters?
What is meant by "punched"? Does this mean he hit Kenshin? —Mattisse (Talk) 00:25, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Added the comedy and suffering in the personality. Yes he tends to punch Kenshin, sometimes in a comedy way and other times in a more rude mode, if he was very angry.Tintor2 (talk) 01:01, 11 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]