Talk:Mary F. Hoyt/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 09:40, 24 February 2022 (UTC)
Nominator: Doug Coldwell (talk · contribs) at 22:01, 7 February 2022 (UTC)

GA criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

Comments

• Missing a short description
•  Done

• "which was followed by hundreds of thousands of women filling these government positions" — Did Hoyt's appointment to federal civil service the main cause for 'hundreds of thousands of women filling these government positions', or is this just a trivia? Can we rephrase?
•  Done

• "She was a centenarian." — For the lead, can we say that "She died in 1958, at the age of 100", with 'at the age of 100' piped to centenarian?
•  Done

• "Hoyt was born in" — Full name should be mentioned on the first instance in the prose.
•  Done

• "She is a niece of" — should be 'was a'
•  Done

• "Her first job was a favorable position for a young lady" — I don't think this is too important to mention that it was a 'favorable position'
•  Done

• "is a federal law established in 1883 which decided that" — we switch from present to past tense
•  Done

• "US president Chester A. Arthur" — I guess it should be clear by the context the Arthur is American president. Remove US. And my reading of MOS:JOBTITLE is that 'p' in 'President' should be capitalized.
•  Done

• "in the spring of 1883" — MOS:SEASON discourages the use of seasons to refer to a particular part of the year.
•  Done

• "Hoyt produced the highest score" — is 'produced' the most appropriate word? How about received?
•  Done

• "at an annual pay of US$900" — suggesting to use {{Inflation}}
•  Done

• "A letter from President Dwight D. Eisenhower was delivered to Hoyt by the chairman of the United States Civil Service Commission, Harris Ellsworth." — which year?
•  Done

• "Eisenhower's letter explained that a door had been opened for women's opportunities in civil service, and that she was the leader for these opportunities" — we should be either directly quoting his letter, or paraphrasing it. But I am not sure whether we should be saying "a door had been opened" or "she was the leader for these opportunities" or "Hundreds of thousand of women" in Wikipedia's voice
•  Done

• "one fourth" — shouldn't this be "one-fourth"?
•  Done

• "while working at the US Census Office" — was she at "US Census Office" or "Census Bureau"?
•  Done

• "She took a hiatus" — might be worth explaining in the text what this is
•  Done

• "Roger (b. 9/12/1889), Truman (b. 11/4/1893), Alan (b. 10/9/1894), and Elinor (b. 2/15/1896)" — Do we really need to mention the date of birth?
•  Done

• File:US Treasury Department 19th century.jpg — If the author is "Government employee of 19th century", shouldn't it be {{PD-USGov}}?
•  Done

References

This version

• Suggesting to be consistent whether you use plain citations or specific citation templates.
•  Done

• Ref#1 — Title of the news article?
•  Done

• Ref#2 — Norwalk Hour should be The Norwalk Hour
•  Done

• Ref#3 — missing title
•  Done

• Ref#6 — Plain link; and why is Geni.com reliable to use? WP:RS/P#Geni.com states it is unreliable.
•  Done

• Ref#12 — New York Times should really be The New York Times
•  Done

• Ref#15 — Don't use all caps in reference titles
•  Done

Putting on hold – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 10:20, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

Thanks for review. Will get started in resolving the issues.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:48, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

• @Kavyansh.Singh: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:15, 24 February 2022 (UTC)

• Sure, will take another look soon. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 16:26, 25 February 2022 (UTC)

• Looking much better; Promoting! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 10:52, 26 February 2022 (UTC)