Talk:Macau at the 2012 Summer Paralympics

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GA Review[edit]

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Macau at the 2012 Summer Paralympics/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 14:00, 16 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • "in London, United Kingdom from" no need for "United Kingdom" but if you insist on it, put a comma after it.
  • "at an Summer" a
  • Could link Standard-bearer for "flag bearer".
  • So a high jumper participated in the long jump? Can that be explained?
  • You can link Macau again in the main part of the article, after the lead.
  • "Paralympic movement" can be linked to Paralympic Games.
  • "territory's National Olympic Committee" put territory's into the pipe because we have an article called National Olympic Committee and this is potentially confusing.
  • "entered some international organisations" what do you mean?
  • "but have never" it was "has" in the previous sentence.
  • "2012 London Games" can link here.
  • That first Background section could use some sentence merging for flow, it's a lot of short sentences which makes for clunky reading.
  • What makes topendsports.com a reliable source?
  • "10 September.[12][10] " order.
  • "the London Games.[17] These London Paralympics" repetitive, and short-sentence syndrome strikes again.
  • "had partaken in" taken part in
  • "he partook in" -> "took part" or even "competed" perhaps.
  • "he did not have one of the best eight marks in his first three jumps, Tong took no further part in the event, coming ninth overall" not sure about "marks", after all it's the distance, not some kind of score.
  • I would include units in the distance column of the table, i.e. 4.63 m.
  • Avoid using semi-colons for sub-headings, they are poor for accessibility.
  • "a 27 year old" -> "a 27-year-old"
  • "acquired the necessary results to qualify for the Games" elucidate.
  • "at the ExCeL London" either "the ExCeL arena" or "at ExCeL London".
  • "by index" what's that?
  • "5-4" en-dash (per MOS:DASH) not hyphen.

That's all I have, on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 11:22, 17 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

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