Talk:Kendrick Moxon/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Lord Roem (talk) 00:40, 14 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I look forward to reviewing this article. I will try to review this over the long weekend. Cheers, Lord Roem (talk) 00:40, 14 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

One quick thing to fix - there is a dead link in the references. -- Lord Roem (talk) 03:03, 14 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Section by section review[edit]

Lead

The lead is good. I would add an in-line cite to the Operation Snow White sentence, as I believe it may be something 'challenged' under WP:LEADCITE.

Early life and education

Hmmm. Maybe incorporate this into the 'Family' section, so it appears more complete? Hmmmm. You can decide.

Guardian's office

I'm not entirely sure that Moxon being an 'Operating Thetan' is relevant here.
When you first mention the Snow White investigation here, briefly explain what it is to provide more context.
Maybe add a bit on what exactly the GO did.

COS Attorney

The citations here are prolific and where needed - good job!
Maybe divide this section into individual time frames because it reads as a huge piece of text. Either that or add an image or two of the people he represented.
The last example of a case, from March 2000 in the end of this section, never explains what the decision of the judge was? Did Moxon win?

Family

Add in a sentence of when he got married.

Concluding thoughts

I am truely surprised that this article is balanced and neutral in all respects. Well done! Certainly viable for GA promotion.

Best regards, Lord Roem (talk) 18:25, 14 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Pass[edit]

After reviewing the changes, I see nothing further to fix or alter. I will now move to promote the article. Congrats! -- Lord Roem (talk) 20:45, 14 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]