Talk:John Warne Gates/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 17:00, 29 June 2015 (UTC)

Looks very comprehensive and well written. I should have this to you by tomorrow at the latest JAGUAR  17:00, 29 June 2015 (UTC)

Cheers Jaguar, yes, so comprehensive in fact I think there's a future FA possibility, but first thing's first ;-)♦ Dr. Blofeld 18:08, 29 June 2015 (UTC)

Initial comments

• "including the sale of firewood to homes and to the local railroad" - is this meant to mean homes along the railroad or a station? I don't know how he could sell firewood to a railroad

In the very old days, the steam locomotives were fired with wood. Later on they were coal fired and some were oil fired. William Crooks (locomotive) These fellows were keeping this train going by grabbing the wooden fences for fuel. :) We hope (talk) 22:04, 30 June 2015 (UTC)

• "When he was assigned to the Texas territory" - how is it a territory? I'm sure it was a state that was part of the US back then This means the Washburn-Moen company's sales territory--have added that to the article. We hope (talk) 22:04, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
• "demonstration of the wire in San Antonio's Military Plaza" - I would link San Antonio, just for the sake of having more blue links in the lead!  Done We hope (talk) 22:04, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
• "Because he had been involved in some harmless childhood mischief in both grammar and Sunday School, when the Sunday School collection was stolen," - could be re-worded to Because he had been involved in some harmless childhood mischief in both grammar and Sunday School, he was accused of stealing a collection at the Sunday School or something like that? changed. We hope (talk) 22:04, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
• "Gates was serious about Dellora from the time they met; he proposed to her at one of the house parties" - the first half sounds a bit informal, I would cut the 'serious' part of the sentence and keep the proposal part changed We hope (talk) 22:04, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
• "With this, Mary Gates went into action. She told her husband he needed to help his son financially" - sounds out of place, the sentence might be better as With this knowledge, Mary Gates told her husband he needed to help his son financially changed We hope (talk) 22:04, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
• "Gates quickly learned that while he found friends and ready poker playing companions" - ready? gone :) We hope (talk) 22:04, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
• "Rumor had it that Gates was short 60,000 shares" - it was rumored? changed We hope (talk) 22:04, 30 June 2015 (UTC)
• "Osgood announced he was willing to meet Gates halfway, but Gates would have none of it" - a bit informal, what about but Gates declined the offer? Changed wording We hope (talk) 22:04, 30 June 2015 (UTC)

References

• No dead links

On hold

That's all the prose issues I could find. I really enjoyed reading his biography! I liked how he stood up to JP Morgan (one of the biggest fools in history) and how he bet a lot! This article is generally comprehensive and well researched, which I can see becoming a FA in the future if the work was put into it. JAGUAR  21:35, 30 June 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for addressing them so quickly, We hope! The article now meets the GA criteria. I was impressed by how comprehensive it was. JAGUAR  10:53, 1 July 2015 (UTC)

Thankyou Jaguar and We hope!♦ Dr. Blofeld 11:05, 1 July 2015 (UTC)