Talk:Holly & Ivy/GA1
GA Review[edit]
- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.
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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 02:18, 30 March 2016 (UTC)
Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.
Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 02:18, 30 March 2016 (UTC)
- @Carbrera: Thank you! It is crazy/surreal to have the very first article that I have contributed to and revised be considered for GAN. Aoba47 (talk) 02:27, 30 March 2016 (UTC)
Infobox[edit]
- Wow! Nothing to say here! I've yet to review an article where I can say this
Lead[edit]
Paragraph 1[edit]
- "music and a follow-up" → "music and serves as a follow-up" Done
- Remove the extra space before "American producer"... Done
- You don't need to cite the last sentence because it is elsewhere in the article.
Paragraph 2[edit]
- Could you insert 'sales' before "shipments" to prevent confusion? Done
- You already sourced the sentence regarding its gold status in America so you can remove it.
- You can also remove the peak position on the Hot 100 because you mentioned it elsewhere in the article
Paragraph 3[edit]
- This looks really good, even though its a little bit short; can you think of anything else to put here?
Background[edit]
- I don't think it's necessary to list when the picture included of Nat King Cole was taken Done
Paragraph 1[edit]
- Is there anyway of finding who Natalie Cole was interviewed by for the lead sentence? Done I can't believe I forgot this lol
Paragraph 2[edit]
- The second sentence is quite long; could it be broken apart into two smaller sentences? Done
- Perhaps you could instead list the albums that the song is on versus stating "The song appears on all of Cole's Christmas albums." Done (That is a very good idea as it sounds really vague/bad the way I put it) Aoba47 (talk) 02:28, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
Paragraph 3[edit]
- "Cole expressed a hope the album" → "Cole expressed hope that the album" Done
- Should the quote by Cole's twin sister include "with" in "magical time [with] Natalie"? Done The with was in the original quote, but I must have missed it somehow. Good catch. Aoba47 (talk) 02:28, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
Composition[edit]
Paragraph 1[edit]
- The audio sample doesn't have the the apostrophe after "No More Blue Christmas'" Done
- The second sentence states "Cole said", but the quote says "she"; which form is correct?
Paragraph 2[edit]
- Add section title 'Songs' (with three equal signs) before this paragraph so its nice and separate for the next two paragraphs Done
- Remove the extra 's' in 'thirds' Done Silly mistake on my part lol Aoba47 (talk) 02:41, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
- Add 'respectively' to the end of the second sentence Done
- Is the "a pure blues" part necessary?
Paragraph 3[edit]
- You should add respectively again to the end of "A Song for Christmas" Done
- The rest of this paragraph is good!
Promotion[edit]
Paragraph 1[edit]
- "Untraditional Traditional Christmas. The program was directed" → "Untraditional Traditional Christmas; the program was directed" Done
- Could you find another source for the PBS mentions?
- Unfortunately, I cannot. The program was not strongly promoted or reviewed and was never really discussed after that. It may have to do with a certain Mariah Carey Christmas album coming out in the same year and literally destroying the competition. I was just happy that I did not have to use a YouTube video as a citation. Aoba47 (talk) 02:41, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
Paragraph 2[edit]
- This first sentence is a bit long; could you condense it? Done I cut the sentence into two as I think all the ideas are important, but I have condensed somewhat. Aoba47 (talk) 02:45, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
- I think you should start the reviews with positive reviews, making your way eventually to the more negative ones (At least this is what I think you should do...) Done I completely agree with this tactic. While I was writing this article, I was just putting them in as I could find and feeling proud of just finding anything at all lol. Aoba47 (talk) 02:45, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
Paragraph 3[edit]
- You should combine this paragraph and the next paragraph to make one, larger paragraph Done
- Otherwise, good work
Reception[edit]
Critical response[edit]
- State 'music critics' instead of 'critics' Done
- Could you provide a link to music critics as well?
- "and described it" → "but described it" Done
- "fine outing". He praised" → "fine outing"; he further praised" Done
- "Eve at the Copa". Browne" → "Eve at the Copa"; Browne" Done
Commercial performance[edit]
- Double check to make sure the album didn't chart anywhere else, because I do see that it was released in Canada...
Track listing[edit]
- The producer(s) should be added here if applicable
Credits[edit]
- Change section title to "Credits and personnel" Done
Charts[edit]
- Remove the 'Weekly charts' title since it didn't chart on any year-end charts Done
Release history[edit]
- Add a rowspan in for the label so it isn't so repetitive and over-linked Done This took me a lot longer for me to figure out than I should admit lol. Aoba47 (talk) 03:04, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
References[edit]
- [1] - Provide a link for 'Jet' Done
- [3] - Provide a link for 'RIAA' Done
- [4] - Provide a link for 'Billboard' Done
- [6] - Provide a link for 'AllMusic' Done
- [12] - Provide a link for 'NYTimes.com' or change to 'New York Times' and link that Done
- [13] - Provide a link for 'LATimes.com' or change to 'Los Angeles Times' and link that Done
- [14] - Missing a website and/or publisher Done
- [15] - Missing a website and/or publisher Done
- [16] - Remove the link to 'AllMusic' Done
- [17] - Remove the link to 'AllMusic' Done
- [19] - Remove the link to 'AllMusic' Done
- [21] - Remove the link to 'RIAA' Done
- [22] - Provide a link to 'Amazon.com' or change to 'Amazon' and link that Done
- [24] - Remove the link to 'AllMusic' Done
End of GA Review:[edit]
Fantastic job @Aoba47:! However, I have noted some changes that should be made/considered. I will put it on hold for the meanwhile. Thanks! Carbrera (talk) 00:41, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
- Thank you very much for the review! The article looks a lot better now and I appreciate all the help with it. I have either corrected all the things from your comments or put my own comments above. Hope everything is going well with you. Aoba47 (talk) 03:13, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.