Talk:Hans Waldmann (fighter pilot)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 05:11, 11 December 2012 (UTC)

I'll get started on this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 05:11, 11 December 2012 (UTC)

Wouldn't it be better to say that Waldman volunteered rather than voluntarily joined?

done

Link to A/B licence or the closest equivalent.

Pilotenabzeichen?

No, pilot license would be better, although it lacks an explanation of the German system of A/B/C certificates.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:53, 16 December 2012 (UTC)

linked to pilot license. I think I will do some research on pilot training in the Luftwaffe of the Wehrmacht. Maybe I find enough meat to create something like "Airmen training in the Luftwaffe (1933–1945)". MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:37, 17 December 2012 (UTC)

That would be good; there's a fair amount of material out there on the German system, some of which has even been translated into English! Let me know if I can help with sources, etc.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:01, 17 December 2012 (UTC)

Are the code letters of the aircraft really necessary?

necessary? probably not but I like it

Is the graduation date from JFS 6 available? And the date of assignment to the transfer unit?

I looked for it but only found some info on his last training stop at Gleiwitz

Capitalize squadron in translating 4./JG 52

done

Fix the tense in these: Two Staffeln (squadrons) of the II./JG 52 are transferred to Huși, Here Waldmann claims his final four victories on the Eastern Front, Waldmann's 4th Staffel which is officially

done

"at the time" is probably better phrased as "then" and the western theatre of operation is better rendered as "France"

Fix this the destruction numerous trucks

done

Link or define Free fighter sweep mission

done Freie Jagd = CAP?

Offensive counter air is closer to what a Frei Jagd does since it's not a standing patrol or defensive.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:53, 16 December 2012 (UTC)

done

This reads oddly: The II./JG 3 "Udet" was stationed Either change II./JG to "unit" or "group" or delete the "the".

done

Converted is unclear in this context: Waldemann converted to the. I suggest "learned to fly" instead.

done

Is the difference between Staka and Stafu really probation? I'd always thought that the Stafu was only used when the Staka was non-flying.

I looked it up again in "Isby, David C (1998). The Luftwaffe Fighter Force The View from the Cockpit. London: Greenhill Books. ISBN 1-85367-327-7." and that is how he defines it. The way Bracke uses Staffelführer also suggest that Waldmann has to become more familiar with the new aircraft. So "on probation" sums it up correctly. MisterBee1966 (talk) 05:31, 16 December 2012 (UTC)

OK--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 06:03, 16 December 2012 (UTC)

Move heavy bomber link to first occurance.

done

How about "accompanied" instead of had the obligation to accompany Waldmann's mother?

done

Contradiction between lede and main body over who collided with Waldman. Couldn't have been Schrey, Waldman's wingman, as he was machinegunned. Appears to have collided with Weihs.

done

Did he ever marry or have children?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:46, 14 December 2012 (UTC)

It is not mentioned in any of the sources I read. In one section of Bracke it reads as if he may have had a girl friend. The wording was too vague for me to make the assumption

OK.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:53, 16 December 2012 (UTC)

I believe to have addressed every comment made. Thanks MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:38, 17 December 2012 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

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4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail: