Talk:Dan Jones (footballer, born 1994)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 16:22, 5 July 2022 (UTC)

• Tend to avoid single-sentence paras, lead could be either expanded to make the first para larger or merge/split accordingly.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "during the 2016–17 season" seems weird to link the Grimsby season when he's playing for other clubs in that season, maybe just the general season article?
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "of the 2019–20 season on loan " lnk?
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "end of the 2020–21 season" ditto.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "Jones born" ->" Dan Jones was born"
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• Could add DOB there too.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• " the Academy at" no need for capital A.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "youth-team" no hyphen required.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "Jones' progress" Jones's.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "meniscus cartilage tear" link?
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "at Victoria Park on" context?
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• Link caretaker.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "manager Paul Murray" manager has a link.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "who would last just six weeks" bit tabloid, maybe "who lasted six weeks"
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "helping "Pools" to avoid" avoid unexplained nicks.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "summer.[15][16][14] " order.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "made just 12" "just" is inherently POV.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "in just three league" stop saying "just".
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "only five appearances" ditto with "only", perhaps context so say how many games the team had that season or something to give people a comparison.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "would miss" ->"missed".
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "impressed new" according to whom?
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "as the "Bluebirds" finished" nickname again.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "having stood out in an inconsistent Barrow team" your opinion or attributable quote?
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "Manager Ian Evatt stated.." it was Alexander a couple of sentences ago?
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "was curtailed early on 16 March" no need for early, curtailed means that.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• " in an EFL Trophy tie against" overlinked.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "on 62-minutes" no hyphen.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "a yellow card" link.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "new "Ammies" manager" nickname...
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "honest... he'll" non-breaking space before ... for an ellipsis.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "red card" link.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "to switch the play" link or explain.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
• "throw-in" link.
  • Done.--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)

That is it. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 20:44, 8 July 2022 (UTC)

Brilliant, many thanks!--EchetusXe 23:56, 9 July 2022 (UTC)