Talk:Arthur G. Froe/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 17:07, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Nominator West Virginian (talk · contribs) at 16:59, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA Criteria[edit]

GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·

Comments[edit]

Lead

  • Any chances of getting a free portrait/photograph for the infobox?
  • He was appointed by United States President Warren G. Harding — the immediately preceding sentence stated that he was an American lawyer, so mentioning United States in "United States President" seems redundant. Secondly, per MOS:SOB, try to avoid placing two links next to each.
  • Thank you for this catch! I've replaced the linked "United States President" with the un-linked "President." Let me know if this works. -- West Virginian (talk) 18:09, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • and served in this position from 1922 until 1930 during the three presidential administrations of Harding, Coolidge, and Hoover. — and served in this position from 1922 till 1930 during the presidential administrations of Harding, Calvin Coolidge, and Herbert Hoover.
  • Froe was born in Virginia — can link Virginia
  • I've linked Virginia accordingly. I've also linked Welch as Welch, West Virginia, so that the reader will know that Welch is in West Virginia without having to click the link. -- West Virginian (talk) 18:09, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • and served as treasurer of the was named treasurer of the McDowell County Colored Republican Organization (MCCRO). — something seems wrong here
  • Thank you for this catch! I had been rephrasing and left the former wording in the sentence. I've adjusted this to "and was treasurer of the McDowell County Colored Republican Organization." -- West Virginian (talk) 18:16, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "(MCCRO)" isn't used anywhere in the lead. Is specifying the acronyms important?
  • Governor John J. Cornwell — of which state?
  • ahead of the 1932 United States elections. — United States seems redundant
  • later that year in November 1932. — Either "later that year" or "November 1932".

Early life and education

  • Arthur G. Froe was — should specify full name here
  • His parents were Cheshire C. Froe and Leah Singleton Froe, and he had one sister, Cleopatra. — this reads a bit odd to me, can we rephrase?
  • I've rephrased this sentence as "Froe was the son of Cheshire C. Froe and Leah Singleton Froe, and he had one sister, Cleopatra Froe." Does this work better? -- West Virginian (talk) 18:21, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Froe returned to Pocahontas — when?
  • Unfortunately, I do not have a date or year for this return, so I have rephrased as "After graduating from institute, Froe returned to Pocahontas,..." Let me know if this works! I'll continue to see if I can find a date for this return in the meantime. -- West Virginian (talk) 18:21, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Early law and political careers

  • first degree murder — "first-degree murder" (per Wiktionary
  • Froe became known for his abilities as an orator and was known as "the colored William Jennings Bryan." — Who referred to him that way? On a side note, I really liked that quote "colored William Jennings Bryan".
  • This quote was shared in multiple contemporary newspapers, so I will work on tracking down its origin in the meantime. -- West Virginian (talk) 19:45, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • I found this quote in two contemporary newspapers, but neither newspaper attributed the quote. Please let me know how best to hand this. Thanks again! -- West Virginian (talk) 21:42, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Can even rephrase it as "multiple newspapers referred to him as 'colored William Jennings Bryan'" – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 05:52, 7 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • I've rephrased this sentence accordingly, and moved it down to the Later life section to consolidate content illustrating his lectures and orator abilities. -- West Virginian (talk) 16:59, 7 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • 1914-15, 1915-16, 1916-17, 1917-18, and 1918-19 school years. — all these dashes need to be en-dashes (–)

Recorder of Deeds for the District of Columbia

  • by the U.S. Senate — can remove 'U.S.'
  • Froe's predecessor Costello was white, and Froe's appointment returned an African-American to the post.[26][24] — Ref#24 should be before Ref#26
  • 412 5th Street — can you cross-check whether there should be a comma or not?
  • I've rendered this "412 5th Street, Northwest,..." as this address is in Northwest D.C. and to ensure that it is not mistaken for that address in one of the other three quadrants of the district. -- West Virginian (talk) 19:45, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • appropriation of $500,000 — same
  • Thank you so much for the slight modification! It had been awhile since I used the inflation template, and had lost familiarity with the template's formatting options. I really appreciate this recommendation and your further tweaks! -- West Virginian (talk) 17:01, 7 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • companies in D.C., thus depriving D.C. — either "Washington, D.C." or "the District of Columbia", but not just "D.C."; acceptable but for informal use.
  • Changed to "This requirement discouraged the incorporation of companies in Washington, D.C., thus depriving the district of potential revenue." Let me know if this works. -- West Virginian (talk) 19:45, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • At Froe’s request (emphasis mine) — fix the quotation mark (’ to ')
  • U.S. Senator Henry D. Hatfield — can remove 'U.S.'
  • 1930 United States elections — same
  • D.C. Auditor — see above point for D.C.
  • U.S. Senate floor — same
  • Rephrase as "In total, Froe served as Recorder of Deeds during the presidential administrations of Harding, Coolidge, and Hoover." -- West Virginian (talk) 19:56, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • 1724 S Street — can you cross-check whether there should be a comma or not?
  • Usually D.C. addresses are styled "1724 S Street, NW or 1724 S Street, Northwest" but in this case, I worked the Northwest into the sentence. Let me know if this works. -- West Virginian (talk) 19:56, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • I moved the link up the first mention of a street address. Let me know if this works! -- West Virginian (talk) 19:56, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Activism

  • Can this section be merged elsewhere?
  • I've moved this content into the "Early law and political careers" section. -- West Virginian (talk) 20:22, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life; Later life and death; Legacy

  • I'll suggest to merge all these sections as "Personal life, death, and legacy"
  • I've merged these into one section now known as "Personal life, death, and legacy." Thank you for this suggestion! -- West Virginian (talk) 20:22, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • stirring address — can we rephrase to make it a bit more neutral?
  • 1932 United States elections — can remove 'United States'
  • 7:37 p.m. — add a non-breaking space before 'p.m.'
  • Froe’s former law partner — fix the quotation mark (’ to ')

References and Bibliography

  • There is inconsistency in sources for location. Few have location mentioned, few don't. Few have just city's name, few have it with the state. Though this points stays out of the GA criteria, it should be fixed if you intent to take this article anywhere further.
  • Ensured all location city names have state accompanying them, de-linked all city locations, and added city to the URL source. -- West Virginian (talk) 20:34, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • @West Virginian – I will try to fix minor reference formatting issues on my own. Will let you know if something else is required. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 05:57, 7 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

External links

  • Can remove this section. The navbox could be places without any section.
  • Kavyansh.Singh, I have finished addressing your thorough and comprehensive guidance and suggestions. Please review and let me know if you have any outstanding questions or recommendations. I thank you again for sharing your expertise and for taking the time to review this GAN and to provide your feedback. Thanks again! -- West Virginian (talk) 21:42, 6 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, most of the changes look good. Just three more things, then I think the article can be passed:

  • Add ALT text to the infobox image
  • Can we summarize the third paragraph of the lead, seems a bit long
  • A reply above about: "colored William Jennings Bryan"

– Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 06:21, 7 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • Kavyansh.Singh, thank you tremendously for your further review, guidance, and fixes. I addressed all the outstanding comments above. In answering some of your questions, I found some additional information on Froe, which I included in the “Early law and political careers” section and the “Personal life, death, and legacy” section. Please take another look and let me know if anything else is outstanding. Again, I really appreciate your time, effort, expertise, and patience with me as I addressed your guidance! Thanks again, and I’ll standby to assist and amend as needed in the meantime. – West Virginian (talk) 20:19, 7 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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