Talk:2009 Budweiser Shootout

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GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:2009 Budweiser Shootout/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Usernameunique (talk · contribs) 22:30, 30 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Lead

  • On lap 25, a caution flag was given, as Carl Edwards became the leader beforehand. — This makes it sounds as if Edwards becoming the leader caused the caution.

Infobox

  • (313.822 km) ... (301.752 km) ... 168.564 mph (271.277 km/h) — This is probably overly precise, and could be rounded to one or two decimal places.
  • Temperatures up to 66.2 °F (19.0 °C); wind speeds up to 10.24 mph (16.48 km/h) — Do you know the lows as well? That is, could you say "temperatures from X to 66.2 ... wind speeds from xx to 10.24 ..."?
    • The range of the wind speeds do not exist in the citation attached to it. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Announcers Mike Joy, Darrell Waltrip, Larry McReynolds ... Nielsen Ratings 4.9/9 (Final) 4.1/7 (Overnight) — Worth mentioning in body? Just a thought.
    • I've mentioned the announcers in the race section and the final nielsen ratings in the post-race section. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Background

Practice and qualifying

  • Two practice sessions were held before the race, which was on Friday afternoon — What day/time were they held? Also, seems like the "Friday afternoon" part could go in "Background".
  • Last sentence in the first paragraph needs work. It's grammatically unsound, but more importantly it seems like it's trying to do two things: give the order of the second qualifying round, and give the order of the entire qualifying draw. (I think you're missing Denny Hamlin.)
    • Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • Still doesn't work. First, it looks like you need a semicolon instead of a comma after Earnhardt. Second, you say those drivers rounded out the top ten, but only list nine.
  • chose their starting positions by a lot — Was any "choice" actually involved, or was it essentially just drawing numbers from a hat?
    • All drivers drew the positions of where they started. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • I had my eye on the bottle — What bottle?

Race

  • The 75-lap race began at 8:10 p.m. — So it was the practice sessions (see above) that were on Friday afternoon? The way that part is worded, it makes it seem as if the race was on Friday afternoon.
  • Logano did the same for missing the mandatory pre-race drivers' meeting due to him participating in the track's ARCA Re/Max Series race. — Seems kind of harsh, any idea why they do that?
  • Menard held the lead going into the back stretch — of the first lap?
  • the top seven cars were in a single file with Earnhardt the first driver on the outside lane, and by the conclusion of the lap, side-by-side racing began. — Was Menard on the inside lane? If they were single file, why was there both an outside and an inside lane?
  • were collected in the crash — Odd phrasing.
  • Kahne took the lead on the 27th lap, but Kyle Busch passed him for the position, but the latter had no assistance from Johnson, as Kahne regained the lead. — Confusing sentence.
    • Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • It now reads He held it until Kyle Busch passed him on the later. What does "on the later" mean?
  • from another car to regain the lead — From what car?
  • Jeff Gordon fell behind in the middle lane — What lap?
  • Edwards and Kyle Busch ran into the infield grass — Was this on the lap after the pit stop?
  • Kyle Busch led Earnhardt — Did he pass him coming out of pit lane?
  • Earnhardt lost the draft after getting loose — What does it mean that he lost the draft? Why would he benefit from drafting if he was at the front?
  • Biffle was tagged by possibly Mears. — "tagged" is a bit jargoney. And why "possibly"?
    • It is not know for certain whether it was Mears who made contact with Biffle. MWright96 (talk) 07:01, 31 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • sent him up the track. — What do you mean by "up the track"?
    • This is meant by sending the driver to the right. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • McMurray's sizable lead — How sizable?
    • It is not stated how much of a lead McMurray held at the time. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • bump drafting was observed — What's bump drafting? Also, you should probably say what happened, rather than what was observed.
  • event-breaking — You mean event-record?
  • it bounced several times — What does this mean?
    • Reworded for clarity. MWright96 (talk) 16:58, 2 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • Still not sure what "unsettled on the circuit" means.
        • Removed it to say simply that McMurray said he felt no loss of car control. MWright96 (talk) 06:46, 3 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Overall