Wikipedia:Top 25 Report/August 25 to 31, 2019

The Top 25 Report

This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous.
Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

Most Popular Wikipedia Articles of the Week (August 25 to 31, 2019)[edit]

Prepared with commentary by Stormy clouds

← Last week's report - Next Week's Report →

Out of Luck[edit]

Following the depressing dominance of Mindhunter last week, I am greatly appreciative to be able to report that this week's iteration is slightly less monotonous, a fact brought about the diminished number of views required to sneak into the Top 25 over the past seven days. As such, in addition to all of the expected malevolent and malicious murderers who lingered in the report, we have a list featuring a surprisingly diverse report with a series of disparate sporting entries, two films at the forefront of the impending awards season, and a number of musically inclined entries, alongside the usual cohort of the recently deceased who appear on each week's report, and the list containing all notable entrants through the Pearly Gates. With such varied and intriguing entries, the report was a joy to compile, and is hopefully as entertaining to peruse. Enjoy.

Thus, for the week of August 25 to 31, 2019, the 25 most popular articles on Wikipedia, as determined from the WP:5000 report were:

Rank	Article	Views	About
1	Andrew Luck	1,203,492	Gridiron returns soon, with many fascinating things to look out for between the endzones, from the vibrant young talent of the league's MVP, to the patriotic pursuit of immortality in the form of a seventh ring, to the prospect of a Beckham-bolstered Browns actually being good. One thing you will not see, however, is former Colt Andrew Luck, with the QB surprising fans with an early retirement. Devoid of a national title, Luck will at least always have his Parks and Rec cameo.
2	Saaho	1,005,682	It wouldn't be a week on the Top 25 Report without an appearance by the latest and greatest Bollywood blockbuster. Buoyed by that YouTube money, this week's behemoth is amongst the most expensive films made in the industry, and stars a man used to such massive budgets. Critically, it has been received rather atrociously, but it has recouped its budget at the box office, so is half-way towards its break-even point.
3	Jessi Combs	937,423	Discovery Channel viewers were shocked and saddened by the passing of former Mythbuster Jessi Combs, who died in a car crash while attempting to set a new speed record. The outpouring of grief and morbid surprise at the 39 year old's untimely passing regretfully propelled her to this lofty position on the report.
4	Group of Seven	(G)796,654	In the picturesque French city of Biarritz, the world's foremost economic powers (who don't use Novichok) convened to discuss global geopolitics. From a dreamy Canadian to an eloquent Frenchman to Tweedledum and Tweedledumber, the major leaders of the world's political strengths discussed topics such as intellectual property, nuclear non-proliferation, and the ongoing civil unrest in Hong Kong.
5	Mindhunter (TV series)	794,777	Following its complete dominance of the report last week, I have taken a conscious decision this week, both in aid of evading the perils of exposure theory and, perhaps more pertinently, to avoid having consecutive iterations of the report be depressing and revolving around mass murder, I will fill the space of any articles elevated to the report by the Jonathan Groff-starring streaming sensation with more pleasant, tangentially related material, specifically focused on other Netflix Originals that are not as prevalent as those who dominate the report on a weekly basis. Last week's report exists if you desperately long to be disgusted by depravity. (I would also add that the links are presented too, but I'd rather not have them maintain their perches in the zeitgeist for the benefits of us authors of the report).
6	Deaths in 2019	759,275	Cast a cold eye, on life, on death; Horseman, pass by.
7	Wayne Williams	735,839	Atlanta, airing on FX and written, starring, and frequently directed by a childish cultural polymath, is one of the best comedies currently airing on television, in my opinion, alongside the equally surreal and hilarious BoJack Horseman, the crown jewel of Netflix's animated output. (Not too lofty an achievement, to be fair). Starring Lego Batman in a considerably more adult role, the thoughtful series thrives not only in a comedic capacity, but also in terms of evocative theming, and depressing dramatic turns. Seminal episodes, such as "Time's Arrow", "Fish Out of Water", and "Free Churro" display a potent amount of maturity and emotion amongst innovative and engaging animation, portraying mourning, suffering, and trauma in a moving manner. This, at least for me, demarcates the show as an animated comedy with something powerful and effective to say on the human condition, despite the seeming absurdity of the central character being a washed-up horse actor.
8	Atlanta murders of 1979–1981	680,699 (611,386+69,313)
9	13 Reasons Why	660,153	After a complete disaster of a second season, rife with serious tonal issues in its presentation of suicidal tendencies, self-harm, school shootings, sodomisation, and schizophrenia, Netflix's massive (somehow) young adult smash hit returned for its third season. Given that its predecessor succeeded only in its aim to "start a conversation" by triggering debates about whether it was so bad it was good, and whether the troublesome messages were problematic to present to its young audience, I haven't bothered watching it yet.
10	Once Upon a Time in Hollywood	620,779	I have often quarreled with the appropriate length of the moratorium on discussing the spoilers, as convoluted and unspoken as the etiquette surrounding such matters is. It is complicated in the case of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood owing to the delayed international release strategy employed by Sony, which means that European audiences have had less time to watch the slow-moving and masterful cinematic exploration of the Tate murders and the dwindling Golden Age of Hollywood, and to revel in its fiery and explosive final act. The film is already being heavily tipped for Academy Award glory, particularly for its director and co-stars.
11	Charles Manson	596,789	The White Album, one of the Beatles' best-selling albums was released in 1968. It was, and remains, a fascinating release whose varied songs, from "Back in the U.S.S.R." to "Sexy Sadie", have become cultural touchstones, much like nearly everything the Fab Four touched, and their legendary status has seen the album's initially mixed reception, and dubious cultural impact, dissipated from contemporary memory, morphing into unencumbered and restricted praise. However, one ska single, despised by the band's own members, and much maligned amongst musical critics, had overtly comedic intents, but fell somewhat flat, even if I secretly enjoy it. The same descriptor, in my opinion, could be applied to much of Netflix's original comedy output, particularly when, like the Beatles, they engage in pastiche and parody (masterful segue, I know). However, one exception to this is the ceaselessly entertaining American Vandal, which lampoons true crime documentary series like Netflix's own Making a Murderer as it depicts students getting to the bottom of a juvenile, penis-themed act of vandalism in their school. I promise that there are no Desmonds, Mollys, or marketplaces involved.
12	Dennis Rader	576,287
13	Joker (2019 film)	565,492	I'm the Jokah, baybeeeee! With an intriguing trailer, and ample buzz from those who watched the film's premiere at the Venice Film Festival, the hype-train for Todd Phillips' introspective exploration of the origin of Batman's nemesis is picking up speed rapidly, with Joaquin Phoenix becoming an odds-on favourite for the Best Actor Oscar, which would put the character on a rarified pedestal with Vito Corleone for having the same character win multiple Oscars. It has also triggered various reactionary pieces about how the film, while highly regarded, might instill negative messages in its audience, proving once and for all that we live in a society. BOTTOM TEXT
14	Edmund Kemper	508,549	Thankfully the link here is easy, as I can talk about Netflix's stellar sitcom Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, which stars an entirely unrelated E. Kemper as... a woman held hostage and abused for a decade in a bunker. OK, so it doesn't sound very funny, but the premise, birthed by SNL alum Tina Fey, revolves around the clueless Indiana native making her way in the hostile and boisterous Big Apple, and features a very reliable and consistent central quartet in the shape of the eponymous Kimmy, her roommate and aspiring actor Titus, her anti-gentrification landlady Lillian, and her socialite employer Jacqueline. With a string of quotable lines in each episode, as the action follows their various misadventures, and a very satisfying conclusion, the show racked up Emmy nominations, and has a forthcoming interactive special using the technology pioneered by Bandersnatch.
15	Khalid bin Mohsen Shaari	464,705	As ever, it is the purveyors of obscure, hitherto hidden knowledge over at Reddit who add some diversity to the topics of the Report, a task which I am eternally appreciative of. This week's curious character, following last week's Lovecraftian beast, is the Saudi Arabian man who held the dubious honour of being the heaviest man alive before undergoing medical treatment and a strict dietary regime at the behest of King Abdullah. His valiant efforts over the course of four years, assisted by various surgeries, saw him successfully lose in excess of 500 kilograms to return to a normal weight.
16	2019–20 UEFA Champions League	438,357 (380,160+58,197)	Words cannot express how ecstatic I am to justifiable include this image. As the reigning champions of Europe, for the s i x t h time, Liverpool fans entered the draw in high spirits, hoping to avoid the dreaded "Group of Death", and doing so successfully. Rather, it was Messi FC, the boss' ex, and Man United's dump-site, who were thrust together for an association football battle royale.
17	Alyson Stoner	412,032	The VMAs took place during the week, seeing Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande scoop several awards. Perhaps the most viral moment of the night, however, was the appearance of former Disney Channel star Alyson Stoner, who reprised her role as Missy Elliott's back-up dancer as the rapper secured the Michael Jackson (still?) Video Vanguard Award, leading the internet to dig up related videos such as this one, of the Phineas and Ferb voice actress in her more tender years.
18	Peaky Blinders (TV series)	411,648	The popular period drama, set in what appears to be a more salubrious and futuristic version of modern-day Birmingham (sorry, Brummies), centers on Scarecrow's Shelby crime family and their various misdeeds in the interwar era. Despite having minimal connection (none) to the production, the show has been somewhat co-opted by many in Ireland owing to the Irish roots of the criminal enterprise it depicts, and their infamous headwear. As such, I live in a self-imposed state of ostracisation by not watching the show, though now it is on Auntie's main channel, I might have to jump on board. With its expensive production and all-star cast, there is no reason the series will conclude disappointingly. Right?
19	P. V. Sindhu	411,506	While India's sporting scene is primarily centered around ovals like the Oval, they also have a passion for unorthodox tennis, as evidenced by their rampant adoration of their newly crowned World Champion. With her victory in Basel last Sunday, Sindhu ascending to the pantheon of subcontinental sporting greats alongside Tendulkar and Dhoni, driving her into this iteration of the report.
20	Arun Jaitley	407,524	Another holdover from the top 10 of last week's report, albeit not relating to our #5, is the former Indian Minister of Finance who died as a result of his soft-tissue sarcoma. His legacy, dominated by the implementation of the Goods and Services Tax, was secured fittingly by the decision to rename a cricket haven in his honour.
21	Travis Scott	399,819	The sicko who interrupted Stephen Hillenburg's "Sweet Victory" at the Super Bowl in order to perform a song which is 90% obscenities, and borderline unplayable, much to the chagrin of the internet, has a film out on Netflix. Like #9, I'm going to give it a miss.
22	Billie Eilish	386,463	Given the ubiquity of the anti-pop pop princess on recent iterations of the report, I have minimal interest in discussing her again (I'm saving the hot takes for the annual report), I will instead discuss the vastly more interesting #26, Dave Chappelle. Because I can. Chappelle released a new special, Sticks & Stones, on Netflix, which has kinda divided critical opinion, with many declaring a special where Chappelle meticulously argues that we need to be less hasty in condemning celebrities, as overly controversial and disgusting. For the record, I really enjoyed it, and don't really understand the furore. As Chappelle eloquently argues to the audience, "you clicked on a picture of this face".
23	Sharon Tate	373,185	Remaining as a staple of the report since the release of #10, there is little to say about the tragic Hollywood starlet who met a diabolical demise at the hands of #11 and his heinous family. Her death heralded the end of an age of innocence in Hollywood, and has been declared by historians as the conclusion of the groovy and carefree Sixties, leading into a more cynical decade to follow, and leaving many to wonder what would have transpired differently had Atkins, Krenwinkel, and Watson chosen the wrong door on Cielo Drive...
24	Valerie Harper	373,258	Following on from a long-deceased Hollywood star of the 60's, we have a recently deceased star of the 70's. Valerie Harper starred alongside Cloris Leachman and the eponymous star of The Mary Tyler Moore Show during its massively successful and ground-breaking run, which saw Harper claim three consecutive Emmys for Supporting Actress for her sublime turn as Rhoda Morgenstern, a role she continued in its subsequent spin-off.
25	Ben Stokes	372,741	We conclude this week's iteration of the report with another sporting tale, this time originating from the immaculate grass fields of Headingley, where the third Test of the Ashes took place. With Australia leading 1-0, and only requiring one further Test victory to guarantee that they at least retain the Ashes following their previous dominant victory, England looked as though all hope was lost following an embarrassing first innings total of 67 runs, leaving them with a massive 359 to chase, in what would constitute their largest chase ever. Wickets then fell rapidly, and the English had just one remaining wicket while being 73 runs short of victory. Then, just as in the final overs of the World Cup final, all eyes turned towards Ben Stokes, a man with an appearance that could only be described as a (somehow) uglier Ed Sheeran, who achieved his eighth century to secure a shocking win for the English and avoid a humiliatingly quick defeat on home soil. What a shame that would have been. I would have been distraught.

Exclusions[edit]

This list excludes the Wikipedia main page, non-article pages (such as redlinks), and anomalous entries (such as DDoS attacks or likely automated views). Since mobile view data became available to the Report in October 2014, we exclude articles that have almost no mobile views (5–6% or less) or almost all mobile views (94–95% or more) because they are very likely to be automated views based on our experience and research of the issue. Please feel free to discuss any removal on the talk page if you wish.

Note: If you came here from the Signpost article, please take any discussion of exclusions to this article's talk page.