Wikipedia:Peer review/Ximena Sariñana/archive1

Ximena Sariñana

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I feel it needs to be expanded and worked on a lot.

Thanks, – Obento Musubi (C • G • S) 05:09, 15 September 2008 (UTC)

Comments

• No pictures? Have you checked Commons or Flickr (with the appropriate licences)?

• Y Done.

• "a famous" - that's POV, stick to the facts.

• Y Fixed. A note: Even if she's gaining popularity and becoming famous, I agree. It's not very neutral to call someone "famous". And pardon me for marking your stuff up. I just need to keep track of what I've done already.

• Place citations per WP:CITE i.e. immediately after punctuation where possible.
• I would expand the lead a little to describe what she's achieved and how. Then move the family stuff down as a first section along the lines of a Personal life section (or something similar).
• The Daniela Luján you link to as a character is a real person - is that link correct?

• I believe so. I think Daniela Luján is the actress who played Luz Clarita in the telenovela.

• You don't need to link English language on each occasion.
• "thirty-eighth " 38th.

• Y Done.

• "movie befor she acted in her first telenovela" maybe reorganise the biography in that case. And "befor" needs an e.

• Y Okay, partially done. Someone corrected the "e" already.

• There is a [citation needed] template which needs sorting out.
• "She is currently dating Omar Rodriguez Lopez from The Mars Volta." - needs referencing and a timeframe i.e. As of September 2008...
• Why is the album table coloured?

• Y Done.

• No need to wikilink dates any more - this has been deprecated.
• The "Notes" section should be called "References" and each reference should be filled in correctly with, where available, title, url, author, date, accessdate and publisher.

The Rambling Man (talk) 09:08, 19 September 2008 (UTC)