Wikipedia:Peer review/WrestleMania (1985)/archive1
WrestleMania (1985)[edit]
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…I want to know what I need to do to get this page ready to be a Featured Article Candidate.
Thanks, ----Nascar king 22:18, 5 August 2010 (UTC)
Finetooth comments: I can review this only as an outsider who thinks of pro wrestling as a kind of staged spectacle rather than an athletic contest. Just a few thoughts about how to improve the article:
- The article needs copyediting and proofing to catch and fix small errors. For example, here's a list of quibbles related to the lead:
- The first sentence repeats the word "wrestle" five times.
- The triple date in the second sentence needs a trailing comma, and it's not necessary to repeat New York since the city name alone is sufficient in this case.
- Closed-circuit television should have a small "c" on "closed". The sentence would be better if re-written to avoid repeating "closed-circuit television".
- "Nine professional wrestling matches were featured." - When it's easy to flip a sentence from passive to active voice, it's usually a good idea. "The show featured nine professional wrestling matches" would be snappier.
- The word "event" is repeated eight times in the lead. Since professional wrestling is a form of theater, it would be more interesting to use "show", "performance", "spectacle", or similar words instead of the bland "event" in every case.
- Readers unfamiliar with this form of sports theater will not understand the jargon or technical terms unless they are explained. You've explained or linked quite a few, and that's helpful, but here are examples of others that might flummox uninformed readers:
- "Hogan won the match after interference from 'Cowboy' Bob Orton." - What is the meaning of "interference" in this context?
- "McMahon countered Jim Crockett's successful Starrcade pay-per-view" - Will everyone know what "pay-per-view" means? The phrase leads me to wonder whether professional wrestling existed before television was invented? Would a bit of background be helpful here?
- "Vince McMahon began cross promoting with MTV" - What is "cross promoting"? For that matter, what is MTV? Would it be useful to briefly describe MTV, maybe as "an American television network specializing in music and other entertainment"?
- "Prior to the event, Greg Valentine had feuded with Tito Santana over the belt." - What does "the belt" refer to?
- What is a "ring apron"? What is a "count-out"?
- It's doubtful that you can justify four fair-use images in this article since they all show more-or-less the same thing: two big men wrestling or promising to wrestle in colorful clothing. I think you can justify using one, and I would pick the one in the infobox as most representative.
- The table in the "Events" section displaces an edit button on my computer screen. I would move the table up a bit to avoid this.
- The date formatting in the citations should all be the same.
- Some of the citations are incomplete. Citation 20, for example, lacks an author and page number and gives no clue about where this valley might be; on the other hand, the citation should not include "Monday" since the full date is sufficient. Citation 21 is a bit strange; how could a reader check a source like this?
- Newspaper names should appear in italics in the citations as well as the main text.
- The book data in the "References" section should include place of publication.
I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 19:31, 14 August 2010 (UTC)