Wikipedia:Peer review/UFC 94/archive1

UFC 94

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because we have expanded this article extensively, and we hope to make this the very first WP:MMA featured article one day. We have also currently nominated it for Good Article status, so if we can get more eyes on to the article before the GA review, I think it would be beneficial.

I think what needs reviewing is the prose in general, to make sure it flows well, and we'd also like to know what we can do to get the prose closer to the Featured Article standards.

Thanks a bunch, Bad intentionz (talk) 19:14, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Comments - Love the idea of making a UFC-related article featured. That said, it still needs a lot more work to get there. Following are some general thoughts on the article from an FAC regular:

• The first major stumbling block I see is the sourcing. MMA websites such as MMAjunkie.com, Bloody Elbow, MMA Weekly, MatRatz.com, Five Ounces of Pain, MMAontop.com, and MMA FanHouse all need to either be proven reliable, or the sourced information needs to be re-sourced or removed. At the Fedor Emelianenko FAC, even Sherdog was questioned. I think Sherdog can be proven reliable, but I don't believe that's true for most of the other sites.
• Copy-editing is vital before an FAC nom, especially for a topic that is relatively new to FAC. I'll provide a few brief examples:
  • "The main event featured the UFC Welterweight Champion, Georges St-Pierre successfully defending his title with a 4th round TKO over UFC Lightweight Champion B.J. Penn." What is a TKO? We both know, but many of the site's readers won't. I recommend spelling it out and adding a wikilink; otherwise this will be seen as jargon. I have trouble identifying jargon in articles, but this is a glaring case. Also put a comma after St-Pierre.
  • "The contest was heavily promoted, which featured a publicity tour to Canada and Hawaii, as well as the introduction of UFC Primetime, a preview show that cost $1.7 million to produce." What is "which" referring to? A re-write would help here.
  • "Rounding out the main card was a lightweight contest between The Ultimate Fighter season five winner, Nate Diaz and contender Clay Guida." Would be helpful to explain that The Ultimate Fighter is a television competition, and provide a link to the season. Also remove the comma.
  • A couple of the sentences above have little punctuation errors. Copy-editing is extremely helpful in this respect, particularly from uninvolved editors.
  • "The event's five preliminary bouts all went the distance ending in decisions." People who aren't fighting fans will get lost here. Try "The event's five preliminary fights all went the full three rounds, ending in decisions (link)" or something similar.
  • "Tavares went for ground-and-pound after takedowns, while the smaller Gamburyan tried to push the pace on the feet but was unable to counter Tavare's more powerful strikes." This is a confusing sentence due to the MMA jargon. Also a grammar error (should be "Tavares'")
• Score ranges should use en dashes. That isn't part of the GA criteria, but the FA reviewers expect that.
• References shouldn't be titled in all capital letters, even if they are presented that way. Also, printed publishers, such as the Los Angeles Times and Las Vegas Sun, should be in italics.
• References 46 and 69 need publishers.

Also pay attention to whatever advice you get from the GA review, as that will help improve the article further. Hopefully, these comments will help prepare the article for that review. Giants2008 (17-14) 02:43, 25 April 2009 (UTC)