Wikipedia:Peer review/Top Gear: Patagonia Special/archive1
Top Gear: Patagonia Special[edit]
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I've listed this article for peer review because I want to promote this article to GA in the future. Before doing so, I want to be aware of any issues that are within the article at the moment.
Thanks, Aria1561 (talk) 00:03, 12 August 2016 (UTC)
- Comments by David Fuchs
{{doing}} Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 00:01, 25 September 2016 (UTC)
Overall, I think this article still needs a fair amount of work before it's ready to be a GA candidate. High-level issues:
- The way the article is organized and what it covers is a bit of a mess. If you don't know anything about Top Gear or the controversy around this episode, than the entire lead is mystifying and contains information not in the article body (a big no-no.) The summary of the special launches in without explaining anything about the presenters, what they're doing, why they're there. It also explains the controversy, but that's repeated (and sourced) later on.
- In general, controversy sections are frowned upon, and I agree that here it would be better integrated with the rest of the article.
- There's no information about the actual production or development of the special, which seems like a fairly large gap in coverage (WP:GA? #3).
Other issues:
- I'm not sure File:Jeremy Clarkson's Porsche 928 GT H982 FKL.jpg has enough justification per WP:NFCC. We know what the license plate is in text, a picture doesn't significantly add to our understanding.
- The summary itself seems a bit overlong, with the extra detail heading into territory I don't think is non-evident enough to say without a citation.
- The prose needs a significant copyedit; the following is one sentence and a sentence fragment thrown at the end: Following the incident, Andy Wilman, executive producer for the show at the time, stated on 2 October that "Top Gear production purchased three cars for a forthcoming programme; to suggest that this car was either chosen for its number plate, or that an alternative number plate was substituted for the original is completely untrue";[9] on the same day, Clarkson tweeted that the number plate had been a coincidence and that "for once, we did nothing wrong",[9] "H982 FKL" has been registered to the Porsche since its manufacture in May 1991.[11] before later writing in an article for The Sunday Times that he "had to hide under a bed" due to "a mob howling for his blood".[12] Lose all the semicolons if they're not going to be used properly and/or sparingly.
- Generally it's better to cite something besides The Daily Mail if at all possible, given it's a tabloid.
My suggestion would be to simplify the summary, and preface it with details of the production and subsequent controversy before you get to the summary, and then finish with the reception section. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 17:24, 28 September 2016 (UTC)
Emir of Wikipedia[edit]
@Aria1561: Do you want to close this review, or shall I add some comments? Emir of Wikipedia (talk) 14:14, 14 October 2016 (UTC)