Wikipedia:Peer review/Tim Minchin/archive1

Tim Minchin[edit]

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've been doing a fair bit of work on it and I'd really like some feedback on what needs improvement, with a view to bringing the article up to GA quality.

Thanks, Shoemoney2night (talk) 05:05, 14 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Image:Timminchin.jpg seems to have some licence issues.
Link pilot to the appropriate article.
"...his first one-hour show.[7] His break-out show..." - 2x show, can we use a synonym to brighten that up?
I reckon the Ediburgh Fringe Festival could be linked.
"to convey visuals" this is a little bit unencyclopedic... what exactly do you mean by "visuals"?
"critic of religion " why not "religious critic".
"it has yet to be picked up " again, a little show-biz-speak for me...
Last few lines of Acting section is unreferenced.
7 external links is a little over the top.

The Rambling Man (talk) 15:07, 17 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

All fixed except Edinburgh Fringe (which is already linked) and the acting section, for which I'm going to have to do a bit more research. Cheers! -Shoemoney2night (talk) 21:03, 17 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]