Wikipedia:Peer review/Symphony X/archive1

Symphony X

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for February 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to nominate it for featured article status eventually, I've recently done a lot of work on it (especially regarding references), and I need feedback as to what else can be added to it in order to make it a better Wikipedia article. Here is a useful comparison of the article before I started editing and after I finished. But this wasn't just me; I had invaluable help and advice from FireCrystal. Let us know what you think: areas for improvement, formatting problems, overlooked unsourced statements, etc.

Thanks, Huntthetroll (talk) 10:43, 18 February 2009 (UTC)

Music2611 comments

Well, FA is a long way for this article, below are comments that, I hope, can improve it.

• "The Divine Wings of Tragedy and Twilight in Olympus (1996−1998)", "V: The New Mythology Suite and The Odyssey (1999−2002)" and "Recording Studio : The Dungeon" are all completely unreferenced. These sentences need references.
• A lot of sections feature single sentence paragraphs, they should be merged into a full paragraph, or expanded to a larger amount of sentences.
• In the "V: The New Mythology Suite and The Odyssey (1999−2002)" section, "...the album features classics such as..." "classics"? what do you mean with those, are they Symphony X's songs, what do you mean?
• The article says nothing about the critical reception of the band's music.
• what makes "metal-observer.com", "alloutguitar.com", "PROG METAL BLOG", "progressiveworld.net", "metal-rules.com", "hardrockhideout.com", "getreadytorock.com" and "metalunderground.com" reliable sources?
• Good luck with expanding this article, I hope my comments help.--Music26/11 11:38, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments by Hornoir

• I could be wrong, but I don't think you need the citations to confirm their musical genre(s). It just clutters up the infobox.
• The infobox image is of rather poor quality; if no better free image exists, please crop this one to focus more on the band.
• Read WP:LEAD as your lead requires work. Also observe WP:NEUTRAL, as most of the lead reads like a promotional piece.
  While I am not familiar with this band, I'd be more inclined towards a lead like:

  Symphony X is an American progressive metal band founded in New Jersey, in 1994. While the band has been through several personnel changes, founder and guitarist Michael Romeo and keyboardist Michael Pinnella have remained constants since the band's inception.
  
  While primary considered a progressive metal band, Symphony X has consistently incorporated elements from symphonic metal and traditional heavy metal into their songs. Many of their compositions utilize complex musical timings and non-standard meters. Though they never toured in support of their first four albums, Symphony X conducted their first world tour after the 1998 release of Twilight in Olympus.
  
  Symphony X have released seven studio albums, one live album, and a "best of" compilation. The band released their debut album Symphony X in 1994, but did not experience American commercial success until their 2007 release of Paradise Lost which debuted at number 123 on the Billboard 200.

• Since the Dark Chapter was a demo only release, I'd rather see it detailed under a Formation subsection.
• All the Biography subsections need clean-up work on the writing; there is a lot of extraneous information, redundant information, and some information that fails WP:NEUTRAL.
• The Recording Studio: The Dungeon section really belongs within one or more of the Biography subsections.
• While the term "Line-up" is fine for that section, I believe "Band members" is a more accepted section title.
• Most important of all: add a "Musical style and influence" section. I'd like to walk away from reading this with a solid idea of what they sound like and why the are noteworthy.

Best of luck. Great start to this article. hornoir (talk) 01:42, 2 March 2009 (UTC)