Wikipedia:Peer review/Steve Dodd/archive1

Steve Dodd[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because: I would like to minimise prose and copyediting issues if/when at FAC; I have not previously written an article containing a filmography and want to be alerted to any problems with its layout; and I want to test views about the reliability of sources, given the purposes to which they have been put. Reviewers may wish to check my initial chat with Ealdgyth on the article talk page on this point. To anticipate one possible query about options for alternative sources: Steve Dodd played only minor roles on film and TV, so he is almost never mentioned in reviews or reference works. For example, I have consulted three separate encycopedias / books of Australian Television series, none of which mention his roles in the various series listed.

Thanks, hamiltonstone (talk) 03:55, 3 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Jonyungk comments: This is overall a very well-written and informative article, one that I would gladly support when it reaches FAC not only for its overall quality but also for what it says about Indigenous Australians and their historical plight through Dodd's career. However, there are still a couple of points to be addressed.

Lead

My main point of confusion here is that you state in the lead that Dodd was born in Alice Springs, yet in the body of the article you mention that the actual city of his birth is disputed. If the latter is the case, wouldn't it be better to state his birthplace in the lead as the Northwest territory, as you do in the body of the article?

Lead changed. hamiltonstone (talk) 11:25, 8 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You mention in the lead that Dodd had a role in the film Galipoli but you do not mention the film in the body of the article. Likewise, Dodd's role in The Coca-Cola Kid, which was, like Galipoli, released internationally, is not mentioned except in the filmography. I realize these may have been minor roles, but these are roles in films which some international readers may recognize. Mentioning Dodd's role in these films might give those readers additional interest in the article.

I have tried to do this without going too far (bearing in mind the minor nature of most roles). hamiltonstone (talk) 04:10, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Background

Since I am an American, I am not familiar with the Rough Riders Association. Perhaps a few words of explanation would help international readers?

This actually proved difficult as the association appears no longer active. I've done my best by giving some background from a journal article. I don't think I can do any more without a visit to Australia's national library. hamiltonstone (talk) 01:10, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"Airlines of NSW"—NSW means New South Wales? Readers not so knowledgable about their geography may not make the connection.

Fixed. And this led me to spend my day on an article about the Airline, instead of responding here! hamiltonstone (talk) 06:43, 8 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This section overall is very well done.

Early career

Dodd's being "a pioneering actor" may be a statement of fact but feels slightly POV as phrased here, without attribution. Is there w way to attribute this statement or, if not, to say he was one of the first Indigenous actors in Australian theater and film?

Actually, I think that probably was my POV. This is one of those things I'm pretty sure is true, but i can't get the sources that clearly justify the statement. I've revised the start of this section to omit the remark. hamiltonstone (talk) 01:38, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You bring us up to 1971 for Dodd's film career, then bring us back to 1966 to include his early stage and television credits. A coupe of transion words would help—"On stage, in 1966 Dodd performed ..." "Dodd's first role on stage ..." or something along these lines. The same goes for Dodd's television roles mentioned later in the same paragraph—a couple of words such "On television ..." would help.

Done. hamiltonstone (talk) 11:25, 8 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Overall, this section feels very through in its coverage. It kept my interest and also made me more interested in reading about Chips Rafferty, about whom I had no knowledge before reading this article.

Later career

I've mentioned this already in discussing the lead, but a mention of Dodd's roles in internationally-released films could potentially increase interest in the article with non-Australian readers.

I think I've done this as best I can. hamiltonstone (talk) 04:00, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

- See below. Jonyungk (talk) 04:48, 14 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
This section is a good start. It does not feel as comprehensive as Early career as it mentions only those roles of Dodd's that are connected with issues facing Indigenous Australians. What other roles has Dodd played, or in what other films? I realize Dodd may have worked primarily in minor roles, but I would still like to read more about the range of roles he has played.

Agreed, and I've now summarised his later career (esp. 1980s) in a new para. hamiltonstone (talk) 04:00, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

- With the new information, this section reads much better. Excellent work. Jonyungk (talk) 04:48, 14 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]
One point I didn't mention before: The first sentence begins with "Despite this typecasting", and the last paragraph before the block quote begins with "Despite these roles". Did you want to change one or both of these to remove the repetition? Jonyungk (talk) 04:48, 14 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

You are quite right. I changed both. Thank you. hamiltonstone (talk) 09:03, 14 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Television roles

I was slightly disconcerted by seeing early television roles mentioned a second time. I realize these are different roles than the ones mentioned in Early career, but perhaps bringing all of Dodd's television work in this section would sidestep any potential confusion.

You were right to pick this up. I took a different approach to your suggestion however, instead moving all of the television role text into the two career sections, making the entire account essentially chronological. hamiltonstone (talk) 01:49, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

One other question: Is there any information on Dodd's peraonal life other than what is in Background? I realize such information may be scanty, but it would be nice to learn a little more about Dodd in this article, if that is possible.

Information about Dodd is in fact extremely scarce. I feel I have squeezed all i can from every source i can find that so much as mentions his name. I don't think i have located any other information on his personal life. hamiltonstone (talk) 01:41, 9 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks very much for an enjoyable read. Hope these comments help. Jonyungk (talk) 18:14, 7 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]