Wikipedia:Peer review/Silent Hill (film)/archive1

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Silent Hill (film)[edit]

The page has a failed GA nomination and I'm looking to improve the page. Based on the GA Fail feedback, alot has been fixed, condensed, and referenced. The biggest section I think needs improving is the Plot section (mainly the size), and the presentation of the Relationship to the Video Games, which may be best to be left as it is. Any and all comments are welcomed in helping improve this page. Thanks. --Beanssnaeb 17:36, 9 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Condense plot, convert lists into prose and intergrate trivia. Wiki-newbie 17:44, 9 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

thanks. --Beanssnaeb 21:35, 9 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Been some hefty revamping from many users. were still looking for some more insight and feedback. --Beanssnaeb 16:28, 10 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Some things I noticed:

  • Try to follow the Wikiproject style guidelines more. Make the sections in this article match the sections in the guidelines.
  • Link full words. For example, in the lead there's Konami's. Change it to Konami's.
  • Move the production section up so it's the first section after the lead.
  • As the previous editor said, condense the plot to about 1,000 words. A shot by shot description of the story is not necessary. Make it more synoptic. This will deprecate the Synopsis section.
  • Incorporate the Dimensions of Silent Hill into the Plot. The two go together.
  • Convert the Cast section to prose. For examples on what it should look like, see Lost (TV series) and Prison Break.
  • The Relationship to the Video Games section is long. There's no need to mention every single little thing, just the more notable relationships.
  • Watch for statements such as The Red Nurse is a clear take off of the character Lisa Garland from the first Silent Hill game. Unless cited, that's original research.
  • Remove the official website section. It's useless and unencyclopedic.
  • Move the See Also above the External Links.
  • Fix some of the broken links. If there are not articles for actors, then either create a stub or don't link it. Red links look ugly.

Overall, it's a good article. I recently saw the film for the first time and read this article after I saw it because not having played the game I was completely confused on the different worlds. This article explained that very well. I hope this helps. Jtrost (T | C | #) 12:53, 12 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for the feedback! --Beanssnaeb 02:20, 13 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]