Wikipedia:Peer review/Sideshow Bob/archive1

Sideshow Bob

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for January 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm going to take this one to FAC, hopefully by the end of the month. All comments welcome. -- Scorpion⁰⁴²² 21:45, 1 January 2009 (UTC)

Looks pretty good to me. I made some tense and punctuation corrections, and the format and referencing look fine. My only major comment is that sometimes the charactor and reception info is repeating the appearances info, one example being the repetition of the HMS Pinafore stalling Bob to be arrested at the very end of the Analysis section, which is already in the appearances. Reywas92^Talk 03:55, 2 January 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: I think this looks pretty close to FA standards, here are some nit-picky suggestions for improvement.

• Problem sentence Sideshow Bob has been described as "Frasier [Crane] pickled in arsenic", Frasier being Grammer's character on the series of the same name. I really do not like the wikilink with the square bracket for Frasier Crane within a quote. I would try to rephrase this to avoid that if at all possible. More improtantly, when Sideshow Bob first appeared on the Simpsons in 1990, the show Frasier had not yet begun (it started in 1993), but Cheers was well established. Perhaps something like Grammer played the charater of Frasier Crane for 20 years on the series Cheers and Frasier — Sideshow Bob has been described as "Frasier pickled in arsenic". This avoids the odd link in the quote, but there is almost certainly a smoother / better way to word this.
  • I went with "Sideshow Bob has been described as "Frasier pickled in arsenic", Frasier Crane being Grammer's character on Cheers and Frasier", is that better? I'm weary of mentioning Cheers in the lead because some users will likely add that the chracter also appeared in Wings.
    • That sounds fine - I think the lead should just be for the most important things, so I have no problem with excluding WIngs (much as I enjoyed that show). Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:31, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
• Would Alongside his appearances in the series, Sideshow Bob has made several appearances in other The Simpsons media. read better as something like In addition to his recurring role in the series, Sideshow Bob has made several appearances in other The Simpsons media. "Alongside" seems awkward and this avoids two "appearances" in one sentence.
  • Done.
• I am not sure I understand this sentence: For "Black Widower", David Silverman updated the character model to reflect the animation of Bird.[19] I would make it clearer that Silverman is the director of the epsiode (I thought Bird was again until I looked at the epsidoe article). Perhaps something like For "Black Widower", director David Silverman updated the character model to reflect Brad Bird's animation in Sideshow Bob's previous appearance.[19] would be clearer?
  • Yes, done.
• Can A previously unaired song, "Hullaba Lula", was also included in The Simpsons: Testify.[38] be explained in more detail? Why was the song written and not aired? Was it written specifcally for the album? I realize this might not be known / in the sources, but if more is known, I think it would be interesting / helpful to include it.
  • I can probably add more about the song once the 12th season is released on DVD (likely by the end of 2009). There isn't a lot known about the song, but it was written for an episode. However, complicating things, the booklet for the CD allegedly (haven't been able to confirm this) lists it's episode as "Simpsons Tall Tales", which Sideshow Bob isn't in. One lyric of the song is "I can't wait to kill Krusty today, Bart takes the wrap while I get away", which is basically the plot of "Day of the Jackanapes". So for now, It's easier to list the song without an episode.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:31, 10 January 2009 (UTC)

It does, thanks a lot for the review. -- Scorpion⁰⁴²² 04:59, 10 January 2009 (UTC)

You are very welcome, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:31, 10 January 2009 (UTC)

• My comment from the PR was not addressed. There are a few instances of repetition in the article, including listing the HMS Pinafore stalling Bob to be arrested, which is in both the appearances and analysis. Otherwise it is an excellent article! Reywas92^Talk 02:17, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
  • Can't really be avoided though. It's a major plot point, so it should be mentioned in appearances but it's also cited as an example in the book we use. You have to assume that the reader is not familiar with The Simpsons (or that they bothered to read the entire article), so in both cases a short description is provided. -- Scorpion⁰⁴²² 02:24, 17 January 2009 (UTC)