Wikipedia:Peer review/SanDisk Cruzer/archive1
SanDisk Cruzer[edit]
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I know it isn't the best article on Wikipedia but this article sounded like an ad and had a list that needed cleaning up so I attempted to fix it. I was wanting to know how much of the problem I had fixed and what else needed to be done to completely fix it.
Thanks, Geeky Malloy 21:33, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Peer review is usually for longer, more developed articles, but here are some suggestions for improvement. Thanks for your work on this so far and for cleaning it up:
- Article has no (zero) references. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
- Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful.
- The lead should be expanded per WP:LEAD. One sentence is not enough.
- The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way
- A model article is often useful for ideas - there are several FAs on computers at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Computing
- Article needs more links, which help to...
- Provide context for the reader - explain what a flash drive is / does for those that do not know
- Avoid jargon or explain it - what is U3 for example?
- Watch out for peacock language - try to make the article more encyclopedic in tone. Generally the examples themsleves prove the point - Show, Don't Tell and WP:PEACOCK
- Any data on reception - what have others said about these (reviews), what kind of sales have they had?
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 04:15, 13 June 2008 (UTC)