Wikipedia:Peer review/One for the Road (Cheers)/archive1

One for the Road (Cheers)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I have worked hard to insert all I can. I don't need to check whether it meets the standards of GA; I simply want an honest evaluation and grade. "One for the Road" is the most-celebrated episode of Cheers, and I'm doing all I can to improve it. The plot section... I hope it doesn't violate copyrights or contain intricate details this time. Cheers, George Ho (talk) 01:40, 9 January 2012 (UTC)

Comment: The article cannot be peer reviwed while there is an underconstruction banner in place. Unless this work is finished within the next 24 hours or so you should close, and renominate when the reconstruction is complete. Brianboulton (talk) 15:26, 24 January 2012 (UTC)

UPDATE: Ahem! There were no major updates within five days. The "construction" banner is removed. This needs another review, please. --George Ho (talk) 22:11, 30 January 2012 (UTC)

Brianboulton comments: I have read through the article. At present it has many weaknesses, which make it rather hard to review. I am sorry I won't be able to help furthet, but here are a few of the main problems:-

• Plot summary: You shouldn't assume that all your readers will be familiar with this series. For example, it ran in the UK nearly 20 years ago so there's lots of younger people who have neither seen it nor heard of it. So when you say "the gang are gathered at Cheers", people will ask "what gang?" and "What is Cheers?". You need to preface the plot summary with a short summary of what the series is about, perhaps along the lines: "The Cheers series follows the fortunes and inter-relationships of a group of Bostonians who meet regularly at "Cheers", their local bar". That way, people will at least have a context for the plot. You don't have to se my words, but you should include someting along those lines.
• Still with the plot summary, this should be much more general; you should not be summarising the script, you should be providing a broad summary of what happened in each part, in a way that makes sense to the general reader. From what you have written, each part reads like a series of unconnected events, and I can't make much sense of these various comings and goings
• I find some of the language distinctly odd, e.g. "Sam (Ted Danson), entering the gang scene, is relapsing sexual addiction since the previous episode..."; "they both turn out to be a gay couple" (can't follow that); "In the plane, Sam and Diane begin to consider disputes of themselves as a couple" - don't know what that means; "At their phone conversation...", etc.
• The "Production" section has little or no production information in it.
• Prose quality is a major problem throughout the article. I think you may need the help of another editor to get this right.
• You also appear to need help with the correct formatting of references. (Do people prefer any format to MLA format? MLA separates URLs, as well as printable versions do. --George Ho (talk) 07:15, 8 February 2012 (UTC))

Peer review is "intended for high-quality articles that have already undergone extensive work". There are hundreds of TV episode articles that have achieved Good Article status. It may be worth your while studying some of these and to try to model your article accordingly before returning it for further review. Brianboulton (talk) 23:39, 31 January 2012 (UTC)

UPDATE: I have added the "Preface" section. If Brianboulton cannot review it again, then someone else will. --George Ho (talk) 05:33, 8 February 2012 (UTC)

UPDATE 2: I have skimmed down plot summary, but I hope the plot is general without flaws. --George Ho (talk) 07:13, 8 February 2012 (UTC)