Wikipedia:Peer review/Omaha, Nebraska/archive1

Omaha, Nebraska

I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to nominate it for FA. Compared to current FAs like Tulsa and Minneapolis we can't be far away. All constructive feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks. • Freechild'sup? 10:37, 27 November 2007 (UTC)

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR _t 02:46, 29 November 2007 (UTC)

Review by Titoxd

• The Elkhorn annexation seems like a rather important topic, as it is covered in the lead section; but it is only covered in passing in the Omaha, Nebraska#Neighborhoods section. Expand to satisfy WP:WIAFA §1.b.
• Make sure to use  s throughout the article in unit measurements. See WP:UNITS.
• The city and its suburbs formed the 60th-largest metropolitan area in the United States in 2000, with an estimated population of 822,549 (2006[1]) residing in eight counties or about 1.2 million within a 50 mile (80 km) radius. - the sentence is a bit confusing, particularly because of the ambiguity given by "or".
• Capitalize the first word of the third paragraph in the lead.
• at the turn of the century Omaha was known as a "wide-open" city, meaning that anything went, - what do you mean by "anything went"? (I understand what it means, but I'm not sure if that may not be understood by non-American readers. You may want to link to Wild West, something similar, or reword the sentence.
• Music in Omaha has always been important to the city, - the "in Omaha" is redundant. pipe the link and reword it.
• The Lewis and Clark Expedition passed by the riverbanks that would later become the city of Omaha in 1804, and met on Council Bluff at a point about 20 miles (30 km) north of present-day Omaha, at which point they met with the Otoe. - confusing sentence with two verbs. Split and reword.
• Some of this land was later used to entice Nebraska Territory legislators in an area called Scriptown. - it's not readily apparent that Scriptown is part of Omaha.
• The history of the cession by the Omaha Tribe to the U.S. government is introduced in the first image of the History section, but is not developed in the prose.
• The Early development section is unreferenced. While this might be due to Summary style, the statements about prostitution seem controversial enough to merit inline citations.
• The picture used for the Enola Gay is just tangentially related to Omaha. Consider removing it, or replacing it with a different picture with a stronger connection to the city.
• What happened in the '60s, '70s, and '80s? The article jumps straight to the 1990's...
• The Civil Rights Movement section seems fairly short. How exactly did this region contribute to the national civil rights movement?
• The Metropolitan area section includes counties listed in descending order. Replacing the list with a a table with per-county population totals would be better, IMO.
• Verify the copyright status of Image:Omaha c bluffs.jpg.
• Early neighborhood development of ethnic enclaves, including Little Italy, Little Bohemia and Greek Town, have given way to gated communities. This sentence gives the impression that gated communities have sprung and replaced the historic neighborhoods of Little Italy, Little Bohemia, etc... is this true? Or is the sentence trying to say that development has shifted from ethnic enclaves to the growth of gated communities in different areas?
• Contemporary music groups either located in or originally from Omaha include Mannheim Steamroller, Bright Eyes, The Faint, Cursive, Azure Ray, 49 cents, Tilly and the Wall and 311.
• The demolition of the Cinerama Indian Hills Theater by Nebraska Methodist Hospital represented a real loss to American cinematic history. - why?
• The Racial and ethnic tension section seems like it could be combined with the Civil Rights Movement section, unless I'm missing something obvious.
• References for the Climate section would be nice. Also, having only one level-3 subheading ("===Climate===") under a level-2 heading ("==Geography==") is frowned upon.
• Are all the sub-headings in the Infrastructure section necessary? These are all one-paragraph sections that can be condensed into one big section without loss of content. Alternatively, expand them.
• Nuke all {{fact}} tags on the article.
• Move the {{further}} in the Health and medicine section to the top of the section. Be consistent.
• Two of the {{further}} links in the Transportation section don't point anywhere. Nuke or link.

Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 23:52, 7 December 2007 (UTC)