Wikipedia:Peer review/Money No Enough/archive1

Money No Enough[edit]

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Fellow Wikipedians, I humbly present for peer review, this article about a 1998 Singaporean movie about three friends with various financial troubles, that had a significant impact on cultural expression in Singapore, including its film industry. In my quest to counter systemic bias on Wikipedia, I am seeking GA status for this article. Please point out any and all issues (such as prose issues) that prevent the article from meeting the GA criteria. I hope you enjoy reviewing this article as much as I enjoyed writing it (despite the scarcity of referenced information on Singaporean topics).

Thanks, J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 11:09, 26 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Some nitpicking - the Production section generally goes after the Cast section. And I'd remove the red links in the introduction and plot. The referencing seems good, but I'd recommend using one of the reference templates like {{Cite web}}. Anyways, it sounds like an interesting movie--GroovySandwich 02:28, 28 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I moved the Production section to after the Cast section. Also removed the two redlinks in the lead, as Tay and JSP may not be notable enough to warrant their own Wikipedia articles. However, I did not unlink bai jin, which is a feature of Chinese funerals and thus notable (our coverage of Chinese culture is quite poor). For several reasons, I made a stylistic choice not to use reference templates. Thanks for the comments and I am glad you think the movie is interesting. --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 09:47, 28 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Sp33dyphil

"about three friends with financial problems ~~who start~~ starting a car" – who is only used to refer to the subject immediately prior, in this case, "financial problems".
Done Thanks for explaining that nuance of English grammar! --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
~~"Released in cinemas" replace released with premiered?~~ Changed my mind.
Clarification needed Could you explain why the use of "premiered" is preferable? Starting a sentence with "Premiered in cinemas" sounds very awkward. Or would native speakers think otherwise? --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Not done since you changed your mind. --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 04:23, 30 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"S$5.8 million" conversion to US dollar?
Clarification needed Would such a conversion be useful, considering inflation and changes in exchange rates over the past thirteen years? --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Maybe; try these templates {{Formatprice|{{Inflation|US|r=2}}}} {{Inflation-fn|US}}
Considering Need to examine these templates in greater detail. --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 04:23, 30 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"installments" isn't there supposed to be one "l"?
Clarificastion needed Could that be a difference between British English (which this article uses) and American English? --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I'd prefer if this movie stick to Her Majesty's English, which would put instalment as the standard spelling. See installment
Done I mistakenly thought "installments" was the British English term. Thanks for letting me know that the reverse is the case! --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 04:23, 30 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"forty thousand Singapore dollars" I prefer numbers than words in this case.
Done I was unsure whether to spell it out or use numbers, but I guess I agree with you now. --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"two week" hyphenate.
Done Thanks for catching that! --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"Ong flees to Johor Bahru, Malaysia."
Done Indeed, many non-Singaporean readers would not know that Johor Bahru is in Malaysia. --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"three rich older" I'd replace rich with wealthy.
Done Perhaps you could elaborate on the nuances of the two words and their differences? --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Rich, to me, is a peacock and informal term.
Thanks for the explanation! --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 04:23, 30 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"medical bills respectively" what purpose does respectively serve? Which are the subjects the word is referring to?
Clarification The purpose of "respectively" is to match "Ong" with "loan sharks" and "Hui" with "medical bills". Is there a better way of doing that? --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"of bai jin" italicise since it's a foreign term.
Done By the way, the foreign language is Chinese, specifically Mandarin. --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"S$50,000", "S$42,000, "S$5.8 million" conversion to US dollar?
See earlier comment about currency conversion. --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
where are the URLs for some of the references? Where are the access dates?Sp33dyphil ^{"Ad astra"} 11:18, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Clarification needed What access dates? Most of the references are from newspapers, not websites. --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
An access date, or retrieval date, is the date when a particular website is accessed by a reader. It is helpful if the website goes offline, when using the Wayback Machine is appropriate.
Done Added "Last accessed 30 July 2011" to all the online references. --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 04:23, 30 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! --J.L.W.S. The Special One (talk) 13:07, 29 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]