Wikipedia:Peer review/Literature in the Hoysala Empire/archive1

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Literature in the Hoysala Empire

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it discusses an important epoch in the development of literature in the Kannada language. The article is well referenced but needs a peer review to improve grammar, presentation and style. Please provide constructive feedback which can help this article eventually become a FA.

Thanks, Dineshkannambadi (talk) 17:50, 30 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]


Comments by --Redtigerxyz (talk) 13
18, 4 August 2008 (UTC)
  • The para starting with "In addition to the Hoysala patronage, Kannada poets and writers during this period enjoyed royal support over a wide geographic area in the western Deccan." in Overview discusses Chalukya and Yadava poets, which are not part of the Hoysala Empire, which I think may be an UNDUE. Remove or shorten the list of poets.
Dk Reply Removed mention of all poets in that para. Moved remainder of para to penultimate paragraph of same section.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 00:20, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is Mallikarjuna the right link to the poet? If yes, plz add.
DK Reply No. The Mallikarjuna of this article was purely an anthologist.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 00:20, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Some of them are Maghanandi (probable author of Rama Kathe, guru of Kamalabhava), Balachandra (guru of Nagachandra), Nachi Raja (Nachiraji, a commentary on the Amara Khosha, 1158), Srutakirti (guru of Aggala, author of Raghava Pandaviya and possibly a Jina-stuti), Sambha Varma (mentioned by Nagavarma),[49] Vira Nandi (Chandraprabha Kavyamala),[50] Dharani Pandita (Bijjala raya Charita and Varangana Charita),[51] Amrita Nandi (Dhanvantari Nighantu), Vidyanatha (Prataparudriya), Ganeshvara (Sahitya Sanjivana),[52] Harabhakta, a Veerashaiva mendicant (Vedabhashya, 1300) and Siva Kavi (Basava Purana, 1330).[" Sometimes the bracket explantion is confusing like "guru of Kamalabhava", "guru of Nagachandra" etc.. Now who is Nagachandra, Kamalabhava, add links or a different explanation in terms of year, would be better.
DK Reply I have provided the clarifications you asked for, added dates and specified "author of xxx"Dineshkannambadi (talk) 00:20, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
DK Reply Made minor change. Instead of "autohr of.." for every case, I elucidated in the begining of the para. A reader must be able to apply that to all writings in that para atleast.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 19:16, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Images: Some images are in places where the text does not relate to it. e.g. "Jain temple at Halebidu, a Hoysala construction" is more suitable in "Jain epics". In "Ishvara temple (1220) at Arasikere with an unusual 16-pointed stellate (star) mantapa (hall) plan", "an unusual 16-pointed stellate (star) mantapa (hall) plan" is redundant as not an article on architecture.Redtigerxyz (talk) 13:18, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
DK Reply Done. Made the correctionsDineshkannambadi (talk) 00:20, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It is said that the king, with the intention of testing Kanti's proficiency, would have Nagachandra recite half a stanza of a poem which Kanti would promptly complete. Legend has it that Nagachandra once laid a wager that he could convince Kanti to write a eulogy of him. To win the wager, he pretended to collapse and die. The sorrowful Kanti recited a panegyric of him, hearing which, Nagachandra sprang up and claimed victory" UNDUE
DK Reply Removed unwanted infoDineshkannambadi (talk) 00:20, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I noticed, at many places "king" and "god" are spelled with capital K and G. "King" with capital K stands for "The perfect, omniscient, omnipotent being or God" and "God" generally refers to a monotheistic God and "god" is used when a pantheon exists. Please fix that.
DK Reply I am in the process of this change though I find this issue confusing. I have used "GOD" and "King" in all other FA's but none objected. In fact I was told its okay to use "God" if I name the god such as Rama. Same with "King".Dineshkannambadi (talk) 00:20, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
For God and god, see Wikipedia:MOS#Religions.2C_deities.2C_philosophies.2C_doctrines_and_their_adherents. For King, see [1]. --Redtigerxyz (talk) 13:59, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
DK Reply Done. It is "god" and "king" everywhere except in one place where I used "Supreme God" and "King Harsihchandra" about whom the book was written.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 19:12, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Add links to mentioned kings and poets, if possible.
"DK Reply In the process.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 00:20, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "His native place has been a subject of speculation as well. A village called Palkuriti near Warangal, or Palkuriki, either in the Godavari district of modern Andhra Pradesh or in modern Karnataka have been suggested. Palkuriki Somanatha died either in Kalikam in Mysore territory (inferred from a later writing by Piduparti Somanna) or Palkuriti near Warangal" UNDUE. His literature needs to be discussed not his birth or death places.
Dk Reply Removed.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 00:20, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The author questions the credibility of deities such as Hanuman and the Vanaras." Vanaras are not deities, IMO. Also add bracket explanation like Hindu monkey-god.
DK Reply Done. provided disambiguation.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 00:20, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
DK Reply Done.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 00:20, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • More to write. Read till "Jain–Veerashaiva conflict".--Redtigerxyz (talk) 13:42, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for the comments. Will take action per your suggestions.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 14:30, 4 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Additional comment: I noticed that you have put the "who" tag in some places. I have always named the historian(s) in the citation. Is it absolutely necessary I add it to the main article also?thanks, Dineshkannambadi (talk) 00:20, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
See WP:WEASEL. Redtigerxyz (talk) 14:01, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
DK Reply Will take care of this concernDineshkannambadi (talk) 00:13, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
DK Reply Done.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 03:11, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Eliminate Passive voice "It is believed", which still remans. Write who believes.
DK Reply will take care of this tonight.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 19:12, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Ironically, true to his wish that his writing on grammar should "last as long as the sun, the moon, the oceans and the Meru mountain lasted"". Go through the articles for other Redtigerxyz (talk) 14:13, 5 August 2008 (UTC)Wikipedia:Words to avoid.[reply]
DK Reply Done.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 19:12, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Possible UNDUE to Madhavacharya in last section. Shorten
Will take a look.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 13:45, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
DK Reply Done. removed entire section on later day saints not directly connected with Hoysala period.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 23:24, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • When "Encyclopaedia of Indian literature - vol 1,2,5 Sahitya Akademi." is quoted, (Also Encyclopedia was spelled wrong, was it encyclopædia) the author of the specific article is not mentioned. Every Encyclopedia entry has an author written at the end of the article in that book. Can they be mentioned?? Redtigerxyz (talk) 13:35, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
DK Reply Actually, there are good reasons why I have not mentioned explicitly the author(s) name. In many of the the cases, the bibliography is not given. In many cases it is given but often there are multiple authors and books. From which individual book that exact cited sentence came from is not obvious. Very often, just the initials is given at the end of an article. To avoid confucion and mistakes, I have consistantly maintained just the page number, year of publication and volume across several articles I have used these encyclopaedia's for reference, which I felt is sufficient information. In one case, where the author was explicitly named in the article itself, I have provided his name in the citation also. Hope this is acceptable.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 23:45, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Will address remaining concerns. Also, will take a look at the Encyclopaedia and correct spelling. Both spellings are ok. One is English, other is American. I need to be consistant. So far all spellings are British.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 13:45, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I think, the question is not of consistency, rather of quoting the title used as it is on the boof cover.--Redtigerxyz (talk) 13:57, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
DK Reply Done.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 23:24, 6 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Are images available of Manuscripts or scenes of books discussed in the article? Most of images display architecture.--Redtigerxyz (talk) 06:19, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
DK Reply Unfortunately no. The best I could do was images of inscriptions with writings. It is well known that Hoysala inscriptions were generally very poetic and a close examination across these periods described will show development of the script iteself.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 15:46, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: It reads well for the most part and is well cited. I think it needs a copyedit to make sure the prose is as smooth as possible. Here are a few examples:

  • Literature in the Hoysala Empire refers to a body of literature composed in the Kannada language and the Sanskrit language[s] during the ascendancy of the Hoysala Empire[,] which lasted from the 11th through the mid-14th century.[1]
DK Reply Done. Dineshkannambadi (talk) 22:05, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Would "by" be better than "to" in ... although its power declined gradually after its defeat to the Mugal invaders in 1321.[3]?
DK Reply Done. Dineshkannambadi (talk) 22:05, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Which monastery (or should it be monasteries?): Important literary contributions in Kannada were made not only by court poets but also by noblemen, commanders, ministers, ascetics and saints associated with the monastery.[8][9][10][11]
DK Reply Done. Dineshkannambadi (talk) 22:05, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why not past tense Beginning with the 12th century, important socio-political changes were taking [took?] place in the southern Deccan.
DK Reply Done.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 22:05, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Provide context to the reader - I assume he was a Hoysala king? In 1116, [Hoysala?] king Vishnuvardhana defeated the Cholas of Tanjore and annexed Gangavadi ...
DK Reply Done.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 22:05, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • why is it "tales of [the?] god Krishna" but "the Hindu god Shiva" - I would be consistent on using articles (and think Krishna needs a "the" here) and faiths (last I checked Krishna is a Hindu deity) - perhaps say Hindu the first time the god is mentioned, then drop it after?
DK Reply Done. Dineshkannambadi (talk) 22:05, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would start this sentence with the Jain family - too long and complicated to wade through otherwise, perhaps something like One Jain family produced several noted authors, including: Mallikarjuna, the noted anthologist (1245); his brother-in-law Janna (1207), perhaps the most famous scholar in king Veera Ballala II's court; Mallikarjuna's son Keshiraja (1260), considered by some[who?] the greatest theorist of the Kannada language; and Sumanobana, who was in the court of King Narasimha I and was the grandfather of Keshiraja (on the[his] mother[']s side).[36][37]
DK Reply Done.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 22:05, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • The first two and last of the image captions do not give dates for the objects pictured - I really like the Jain temple photo, by the way.
DK Reply Done.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 22:05, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 17:41, 7 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review. Will address all concerns later today.Dineshkannambadi (talk) 19:26, 7 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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