Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Mexican footballers currently playing outside Mexico/archive1
List of Mexican footballers playing outside Mexico[edit]
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to get it to FL status. Can you guys give me ideas of what to write on the paragraph above the list and anything else to improve the list. Thanks, BlueRed 23:53, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
- Comments from MeegsC
- A couple of things you might add to the introduction: Who was the first Mexican footballer to play outside Mexico? When? What has been public reaction in Mexico to players leaving their homeland—pride or disapproval? Are growing numbers of players moving elsewhere, or are numbers dropping? Overall, how many have played elsewhere? How many now? Do most players return to Mexico to finish out their careers?
- Nowhere in the lead do you currently wikilink to the association football article. Don't assume every reader in the world will automatically know which sport you're referring to (for example, see football)!
- You also need to explain the list a little more. Are you only including players who are currently active, or any Mexican player who ever played outside Mexico?
- I'd suggest adding a "Years" column to the table. When did these guys play for the team?
- You'll need to cite references for all of your statements in the opening paragraph if you want the list to reach FL. For example, you say Mexico is one of the richest football leagues in the world—prove it with a reference that backs it up. Otherwise your submission to the FL folks will get bounced.
- Once you've written the lead, have someone else do a good copyedit for you. Right now, the lead has some sentence fragments (rather than complete sentences) and some awkwardly worded lines. Feel free to "ping" me for help if you can't find someone else to help!