Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Calgary Flames general managers/archive1

List of Calgary Flames general managers

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
This list is part of the core of what I intend to be a featured topic on the Calgary Flames hockey club. As there have been only five general managers in Flames history, I do not believe this list is large enough to qualify as a featured list, thus I am bringing it here for a formal review. The prose is my primary concern, and given how short the article is overall, I am hoping for some effective feedback on what I can do to ensure this list is of the highest quality possible. Thanks, Resolute 17:13, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)

• Watch the POV language:
  • "the formerly inept Leafs quickly developed into playoff contenders"
  • "while Leeman scored only 11 goals in a Flames uniform"
    • Awww, c'mon. Everyone knows the Leafs are inept.  ;) The point of the statements were to highlight just how drastically that deal altered the fortunes of both teams. I'll revise the statements.
  • "during which the Flames qualified for the playoffs just once"
    • That didn't seem overly POV to me... would "only once" work better?
• "The team also won it's first playoff series in 15 years" "it's"-->its.
  • Bah, fixed.
• "Doug Risebrough succeeded Fletcher in 1991 and quickly paired up with Fletcher to complete a ten-player deal, the largest in NHL history." Confusing, if Risebrough succeeded Fletcher, why did he team up with him?
  • Because it takes two to tango, so to speak. I'll revise.
• Why does ref 2 say: "Insert Calgary Herald newspaper link here"?
  • Because I'm an idiot. When I wrote the paragraph, I knew what the reference said, but didn't have a copy of that specific article handy. That was a note to myself to complete that citation, which I promptly forgot about. It shall be fixed.

Dabomb87 (talk) 23:00, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Appreciate the feedback, Resolute 00:13, 7 October 2008 (UTC)