Wikipedia:Peer review/Lewisville, Texas/archive2

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Lewisville, Texas[edit]

Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've made substantial changes to this page over time, and have taken some (but not all) of the advice from past reviews into mind. That said, I could use a bit more specific advice than "that's not enough" or "that's too much". I especially need help with details on what should be included in the lead section, as WP:LEAD is rather vague. Any suggestions on sections to add would also be useful.

Thanks, Runfellow (talk) 21:13, 28 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • For an article of this length, I would expect a larger lead, three or four sizeable paragraphs. It should adequately summarise the article, so you could aim to have one or two sentences covering each major section of the article.
  • "Council-Manager" should be "Council–manager"
  • " in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex" you have three links here, which is confusing since the last one is the link for all three together.
  • Also no need to capitalise metroplex.
  • "It incorporated in 1925, making it one of the oldest incorporated..." repetitive.
  • "As of 2010,..." it's 2012... any update?
  • Does MOS:FLAG allow those flag icons in an infobox?
  • ""Oh! Susanna"[3]) " not sure about that ref placement, would think it better outside the closing parenthesis.
  • "Missouri-Kansas-Texas" needs en-dashes.
  • "(minus leaders Bonnie and Clyde)" minus is an odd phrase to use here, perhaps "without"?
  • "Garza-Little Elm" en-dash.
  • "Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport" ->"Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport"
  • "36.398 square miles" a little overly precise for my taste. Check others.
  • Is the table of temperatures compliant with MOS:DTT which would make it accessible to screen-readers? This involves row and col scopes.
  • "662 acres..." previously you've converted units from Imperial to metric, suggest you're consistent throughout. Similar comment applies to the Proposed park system section.
  • "Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex " en-dash and no M for metroplex needed.
  • " In March 2012, the city's park board began reviewing the new park plan, which addresses the next ten years of park development in the city." unreferenced.
  • MCL and public library captions are incomplete sentences so don't need a full stop.
  • I see no good reason to have the 2012 Lewisville City Council results in a table, it looks quite out of place.
  • The populations table, same MOS:DTT comment, also, to make it look nicer, you could add "Sources:" before the three sources.
  • "from 1977-2007" replace the hyphen with "to" or if you insist, it'll need to be an en-dash per WP:DASH.
  • What does "Roads" section mean? Are these the sum total of all roads in Lewisville? I'm not clear.
  • Our article on JPMorgan Chase doesn't have a space after the JP.
  • Refs with page ranges need to use pp. not p. and should have an en-dash, not a hyphen.
  • Refs for Dallas Morning News should be The Dallas Morning News.
  • Year ranges in the refs need en-dashes as well as the page ranges.
  • "Press Releases" -> "Press releases"
  • The "Dallas – Fort Worth Metroplex" category should be renamed appropriately in accordance with our article. Or vice-versa. Either way one of them isn't correct.

The Rambling Man (talk) 11:37, 14 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]