Wikipedia:Peer review/Kylfings/archive1

Kylfings

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for January 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it is a recent GA and I would like feedback to help move it along to A-class and FA status.

Thanks, Briangotts (Talk) (Contrib) 04:01, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Finetooth comments: This is interesting and nicely illustrated. Since I know virtually nothing about the subject matter, I can only offer advice about syntax, style, spelling, layout, and similar matters apparent to a general reader. Here are my suggestions:

Lead

• "Finnic" - This links to a disambiguation page. Perhaps Finnic peoples is the intended target page.

Etymology

• "kylfa can club or cudgel" - Missing word, "mean"
• in connection with the word hjúkolfr which means "meeting" or "guild", where the second element kolfr would refer to an arrow used as a fiery cross - Prose flow suggestion: "in connection with the word hjúkolfr, meaning "meeting" or "guild", in which the second element kolfr refers to an arrow... "
• "more or less synonymous with "viking"." - Cap V on Viking

Identity

• "to refer to an "club" in the sense of organization" - "a" club rather than "an" club

Scandinavians

• "have assigned a Danish origin for this tribe" - "to this tribe"
• "Holm (1992) consider such suggestions" - "Holm considers... ".
• "due to the fact that" - Suggestion: "because" rather than "due to the fact that"
• "as distinct from other Varangian and viking groups" - Cap V on Viking

Finnic peoples

• "distinguished between them in the same manner a they separated" - "as" rather than "a"
• "Additionally, both East Slavs and Byzantines sources explicitly associate" - This should be written as "Additionally, East Slav and Byzantine sources... ".
• "Another difference is the fact that the Byzantines sources" - "In addition, Byzantine sources... ".
• Suggestion: Wikilink ethnonym.
• I had to look up the meaning of "appellative" in my Webster's dictionary, and Wiktionary doesn't list it. I'm not sure what to suggest. It appears to be an adjective meaning "relating to the giving of names" in this context. Would "can be associated with the noun, vadja" be correct?
• "the Norse learnt of the meaning" - "learned" rather than "learnt"
• "and in the case of some of the Dnieper rapids" - Wikilinked and spelled out thus: "and in the case of some of the Dnieper River rapids"
• "The theory that the Kylfings were votes" - Cap V on Votes

Austr-Kylfur

• Austkylfur is hyphenated, spelled with an extra "r", and italicized in the heading, not italicized in some places in the main text, and not hyphenated except in the lead. I think Austkylfur without italics and without a hyphen would be best throughout.
• Suggestion: Wikilink philologist to Philology with a pipe, thus: philologist.

References

• Where possible, it would be good to include ISBN numbers and places of publication for books.

Images

• The beautiful photo in the Finnic peoples section should be moved away from the second-level head because images directly under heads at second or third levels can cause display problems on some monitors. The image can go lower in the section or to the right.
• Usually images are set to "thumb" size except the first one in the upper right-hand corner or infobox.
• The image licenses look fine to me. It would be good, though, to add a more complete description of Image:Norwegian petty kingdoms ca. 872.png to its description page at the Commons. The description should say what the map is and what base map User:Tokle used to create it, where the base map can be found. This would be helpful to people who might want to use the map in other articles.

I hope these comments prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 05:03, 31 January 2009 (UTC)