Wikipedia:Peer review/Hip hop culture/archive1

Hip hop culture

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… As with Hip Hop, I would appreciate review & critique centered on elevating this article to GA status.

Thanks in advance for you input, RoBoTam^ice 20:37, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: I just read read and reviewed Hip hop - it does a better job on citations, and is worse than this at being comprehensive and using images. Here's what I wrote there - it is valid here too: My main concern is that having read both articles, I am still not clear on how Hip hop differs from Hip hop culture - why should these be two separate articles (and not merged)? I am not saying they should merge, only that the articles need to make a better case for their notability as a topic and uniqueness.

Another interesting article and topic, also fairly well written, but also needs some work and expansion to reach GA status. Here are my suggestions for improvement (I hope you don't mind that I copied some things that apply here too from the Hip hop review):

• Read the Good Article criteria - in its current state this does not seem to meet the well referenced requirement.
• See WP:LEAD - the lead is very short and should probably be three or four full paragraphs instead of two short paragraphs made of three sentences. The lead should summarize the whole article - my rule of thumb is that if it is a section header, it should be mentioned in the lead some way, even if only a word or phrase.
• Several whole sections here have no references - DJing, Breakdancing, Beatboxing, Language, etc.
• The Table of Contents is very long - can any of the sections be combined? For example under Media, the subsections Television, Magazines, and Film are all very short - could they just be paragraphs in a media section? They are all also unreferenced.
• The refs that are there need to be more detailed and consistent - internet refs should have url, title, publisher, author if known, and date accessed. Using {{cite web}} and the other cite templates may be useful.
• This article also seems overlinked. Most people want no more than two links per article - one in the lead and one in the body.
• Nice use of images in the article, but make sure not sandwich text between them, or have them on the left so they mess up a header (as Busta Rhymes now does)
• I found the Religion section very interesting - not something I had read about before. It does need cited to meet WP:V and avoid WP:NOR.
• Make sure to avoid or explain jargon, see WP:JARGON
• A model article is often useful - find a music related GA or FA and use it for ideas, structure, etc.
• Sorry I am the only one to review here so far - ask for peer review volunteers at WP:PRV

Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 00:52, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

PS Now I have Biz Markie singing "Just a Friend" stuck in my head - thanks. Girl...