Wikipedia:Peer review/Ghostface (Scream)/archive1

Ghostface (Scream)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe it to be of good quality, not GA quality but on its way hopefully. I've rewritten the entire thing from top to bottom and taken great lengths to discover information to enhance it, in particular the section on design which didn't exist before and took many days of searching to discover any suitable information. I think it is well presented and organised but would appreciate some advice on where to go from here to raise its quality

Thanks, Darkwarriorblake (talk) 18:40, 17 March 2011 (UTC)

{{doing}} Since I just did List of Scream characters, there are some similar issues for improvement here I noticed on a quick look, so will make some comments. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 19:49, 31 March 2011 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this, here are some suggestions for improvement with an eye to GAN and eventually FAC.

• A model article is a great idea, as you can get ideas and examples to follow from a model article. There are some FAs on fictional characters which may be useful models: Jabba the Hutt, Bart Simpson, Homer Simpson, Bernard Quatermass, Troy McClure, Martin Keamy, Khan Noonien Singh,Sideshow Bob and Pauline Fowler, but the most similar character is Jason Voorhees.
• WP:LEAD sayd not to make the lead longer than 4 paragraphs - this is five. I would move the bit about the mask (5th paragraph) to the end of the current first paragraph, and make it clearer that the mask was designed and sold prior to the first movie.
• Their is plural (so it should be "antagonists") in The character is used primarily as a disguise for the antagonist of each film to conceal their identity while conducting serial murders and as such has been portrayed by several actors.
• The lead should be a summary of the whole article, so each section should be in the lead somehow. I am not sure that the In popular culture and Impact sections are in the lead.
• The MOS says once an article identifies someone with his full name, only the last name is used thereafter (unless there is another person with the same last name or the name is in a direct quote or caption). See Roger L. Jackson
• While it is fine to use italics for the titles of the films, WP:ITALIC sats not to use them for the names of characters, etc.
• WP:MOSQUOTE says to use "double quotes" and not 'single quotes' for quotations and titles
• The article needs refs in a few places for example this Despite the character Stu Macher wearing the costume in the film, actor Lillard never actually wore the outfit. Scream 2 features a slightly redesigned version of the mask from the 'Fearsome Faces' line, possessing slightly-altered eyes and an indented chin.[12] Following Scream 2, the Ghostface mask became part of the 'Ghostface' line of masks featuring several variations of the design including glow-in-the-dark models. The plain, white version of the Ghostface line mask is used in Scream 3 by the character Roman Bridger. as well as the first paragraph of Characteristics each need at least one ref.
• Several of the refs (like current 5 and 29) are incomplete and do not provide enough information. Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
• Also make sure that refs meet WP:RS
• The article has four WP:Fair use images, and one of them is a composite of four separate images from the four movies, which means that some reviewers might consider this to have seven separate copyrighted images. Their fair use has to meet WP:NFCC
  • I am not sure how the image of the two actors meets NFCC as it seems basically decorative (how does this image enhance the reader's understanding in a way that just the text does not?).
  • Similarly, how do the four pretty similar images of the four masks meet NFCC, and why should there be two images of the first film's mask (infobox and composite of 4 masks)?
  • The toy might be OK as it shows the whole costume, which is not in the other images (though again does the text describe this well enough that an image is not needed?)
• The prose is OK to good - when the other issues have been dealt with, I would get a copyedit to polish the rough spots.
• There are six disambiguation links in the article that need to be fixed - see here
• Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 19:35, 31 March 2011 (UTC)