Wikipedia:Peer review/Emilie Schindler/archive1

Emilie Schindler

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for December 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I haven't created this article, however I have considerably worked on it to make it at least a C class article. Emilie Schindler is not as much well known as Oskar Schindler, therefore there was much less data available about her and I had to work with the limited available sources. It will be really helpful if I can get some guidance on how to improve the quality of the article.

Thanks, Marsa Lahminal (talk) 14:41, 8 December 2008 (UTC)

Review by Headbomb

• Rule of thumb, if it's in the lead, it should probably be in the main text too. If she's known for saving jews and humanitarian aid, then this should be expanded.
• The first thing that struck me is the lack of citation for the number of jews she saved.

 Done

• The books "Ich, Emilie Schindler" and "A Memoir Where Light And Shadow Meet" are mentionned in the text for the depiction of her life but not used as a reference... that is a bit weird.

• Consider using material from that book and Schindler's Ark/A Memoir Where Light And Shadow Meet to expand the section on humanitarian aid/jew saving/whatever these books say about her...

• Some things are not made obvious or not put in context. For example "He was number 142 on the list". What list? Schindler's List? Grocery list? Is the fact that he's number 142 important?

No its not important for the article, so I have removed it.

• Some weasel words are present such as "has been described as". Described by whom? What's the source?

Removed

• Any reaction from the public and the media when she died (and after)?
• How is her friendship with Rita Reitz relevant to this article? Is Reitz a notable person? Did this friendship influenced her later views or shows some aspect of her character? If not, then it should be slashed.

Rita Reif is not a notable person, but somehow she did change Emilie's perception of Jews. However, I could not find any exact source verifying it so I have removed it.

• Her tombstone include date of birth/death/cross? Is this really necessary? Tombstone epitath is ok.

Removed.

• "Little house" --> house, or be a bit more specific in the description.

Changed it to 'small'. A small house defines the conditions (i.e she was poor) better.

That's about what I have to suggest for improvements. As far as I'm concerned, the article's material is good enough for a C-class if some referencing from books other than "Oskar Schindler: The Untold Account of His Life, Wartime Activities, and the True Story Behind the List." is done.